Nervous of Networking?

You're here because you have already achieved success in your business as a Lady who Leads. The business is now making money But you probably thought running a successful business would feel very different. You thought you would have more balance and spend more time with the kids.

Life is chaos and the business is running your life. The guilt you feel for missing out on so much of the kids is REAL. As much as you love what you've created, you've unleashed a monster ??— and it's hungry. Hungry for more of YOUR time, more of YOUR energy, and more of YOU. Perhaps you dream of a short break away, a longer vacation ??or even an extended break where you can fully switch off. But the business cannot survive without you at the helm.

You now need new or upgraded power tools to make sure you can run the business you set out to run and that one day it runs itself.

The Read for Busy CEO Mums Newsletter introduces these tools, so that you can level up. It draws on areas of research and tried and tested tips and notes on running a sustainable, robust business.

Social Nervousness in Networking- coming out of the Pandemic

My client recently confessed to me that she was scared. Not nervous, not, a little bit of a tummy flip but full on scared.?

My client (let's call her Louisa) has grown her business from scratch. She started around 6 years ago from her kitchen table whilst on maternity leave when she couldn't find a product to match what she wanted to buy- so she went about creating what she wanted. She expected the business to be a sideline but it took off and she gave up her career in banking and the business took off like a rocket. It employs ten people and has a multi million turnover. This lady is determined, strong willed, has a very creative streak as she is now a leader in her industry because of her innovations.

She is a lady on a mission and has real clarity that this is how she wants to grow her business. It's her dream to break into a new market with her business and we have been working on ways she can do that so she has decided to book a stand at an exhibition to launch this new route. A great way to showcase a new offering. However, even with the stand booked, the stand design in motion, the one thing that she dreads is networking with people.

Putting ourselves out there in the face to face company of others we can feel exposed and vulnerable. I am curious as to whether we are at a perfect crossroads for this to occur in post pandemic times where life has been influenced by the lockdowns we experienced.?During the pandemic we had been used to working from home and not leaving the house. Our social and professional circles shrunk dramatically during this time.

I reflect on the people I really missed during lockdown. And they were not only the lunches with good friends where we laughed and sometimes cried together, but also the incidental meetings of acquaintances that used to brighten my day.

Workers at the local coffee or sandwich shops who could no longer dawdle to chat. The depth and intensity of these relationships varied, but these people were all my friends in one way or another, and there was also no substitute for them during the pandemic.?

During the pandemic we focussed on keeping people tied to their families and closest friends. These other relationships have withered because places that hosted them were closed. The pandemic cut out entire categories of friendship, and reduced the joys that make up a human life—and health.?

The loss of these interactions can make day-to-day work more frustrating. In a recent study, it was found that with managers and employees at a workplace, interaction was more spontaneous and as a result both people reported feeling happier and more satisfied afterwards.

However with the increase of working from home, interaction is not spontaneous through Zoom calls where there is usually a defined goal. With that goal comes an expectation of who’s going to talk, and people don’t get their opportunity to give their two cents in the way they would in an office setting. That can give people a sense of isolation.

Thank goodness for tech during the pandemic. Tools like Zoom and FaceTime, were a lifeline for maintaining closer relationships, but they couldn’t re-create social spontaneity, or bring back the activities that brought us together. The rise of tech taking over human to human interactions in all many areas of life from dating to food delivery means brief encounters with service workers is rare and without this human texture there is nothing left but the transaction through an app.

So as face to face interactions dwindled with those we were less close with, we have got out of practice of nurturing these relationships. And with this lack of practice in training this muscle, perhaps we have now become nervous of face to face relationships that were a very natural part of life pre-pandemic. As these relationships are so important for our wellbeing how do we re-engage with them?

So how should my client connect with people on her stand at the exhibition?

Practical Tips to Get Back out there and Overcome Social Nerves

Here are some tips to help you to engage with connecting with others when networking:

• If you just assume someone already likes you and is looking forward to meeting you, chances are they will be.

Someone is way more likely to want to meet you if you’re smiling and friendly rather than wearing a strained face because you’re scared.?

Not because they know you’ve made this choice but because it will show in your behaviour. You will approach them with a smile, a more relaxed posture and a kind of openness that’s hard to fake.

• The next step is to ask a genuine question.

It should be?something you really want to know. Not only will they know if the question is asked out of politeness, it will also be much harder to look interested in the answer to a question that you could care less about so be genuinely curious about the answer.

• Be honest about your interests.

Chances are that you have approached this person for a reason?

Once you’ve got the answer to your question, be sure to either keep the conversation going or thank them and exchange contact details. It can be scary to ask someone to exchange phone numbers or set up a meeting with someone else, but it pays to be persistent and remember why you started the conversation in the first place.

Did you want to make a new contact? Do you want to do business with that person??

• Keep the end goal in mind?and be sure to focus on it even when you’re feeling victorious that you’ve successfully started a conversation.
• Finally, remember that the stranger has feelings too. Yes, you might want something from the conversation, but?what do they have to gain?

Make sure you are listening and picking up on the things left unsaid. Make sure you’re turning the conversations into a mutually helpful exchange rather than a monologue.

Once you actually start smiling at and confidently approaching people, it becomes evident just how easy it is. Everyone is interested in making connections and meeting people,?you just have to make sure the person they want to meet is you.

What I'm Loving this Week

I have been curious about Wim and his super human capability and reputation as the iceman. In his book he looks to show that he is an ordinary person who has tapped into the body and mind's amazing potential with his 3 part framework.

The book covers techniques to master the 3 elements that anyone can use to also get similar results as he has - Cold, Breathing and Mindset. Wim explains his breathing and meditation techniques. The book also has examples of how people have have healed themselves through very challenging health ailments by using the Wim Hof Method.

For me, the book really triggered the inspiration and focus to explore and try out some of the techniques. So I have been doing ice showers every day for the last week. This means putting the shower on to the coldest setting, doing the breathing techniques from Wim's YouTube video and stepping in.

I am now able to do a normal shower (about 5 minutes) in only cold water. If you are looking to take your health and mindset to the next level then this is a great book to explore to inspire and get you to try out the Wim Hof method. Combine it with the You Tube video Wim provides to help take on this way of thinking and practices to help have better control over the body and mind.???

Pop in the comments if you would like to or already do an ice shower :)??????

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I’m Sara Biddle, the coach for Busy CEO Mums who Run Businesses. I’ve been a high-performance coach for over 8 years and a mum for 3 years.

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