THE NEIGHBOURS DISPUTE EPISODE 5 – IS THERE A BREAKTHROUGH?
GOOD MORNING FROM LONDON
In every mediation there is a key moment when the mediator makes her/his pitch
But you have had your sessions with the neighbours and they have had their say. Now your instinct tells you the time is right to make your move? – softly, gently but with persistence and with the right choice of words. You are not making a speech but speaking from the heart and with just enough passion to strike a chord with the Jacksons..
You know they tend to be high octane – speak as it comes and without too much thought. You want to lower the temperature, turn down the volume, and slow the pace but not lose their involvement or their interest. You cannot impose your norm on them but you can engage with them more on your terms than theirs.
You decide to make their family (the Jacksons) the issue and in particular the two sons. You give them the opportunity to do what they have already touched upon and that is to focus on the son they regard as Master Success rather than on the younger son about whom they have less to say. In your own mind you know that the way to talk about the younger son is to start the conversation on the elder son and to learn more about his achievements – academically and on the sports field. And then switch the focus to the younger boy.
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At this juncture the Jacksons will disclose their embarrassment with him and talk negatively about the younger boy’s impact on the family. Not nice for you to hear but you are the professional problem solver
Back to your two points – you experienced reading difficulties in your teen years, you spoke as little as possible and despaired of finding a solution. Your confidence crashed and it led to generational difficulties with your parents. Things improved when a student teacher took you as a training challenge? and eased you back – slowly at first – to comfortable speaking skills.
The mother is interested – her manner is changing for the better and she offers a second cup of tea. But will she swallow the bait and ask you about your “the second point.” She does and you are pleased to be asked – you? know that at this stage you need to talk solutions
EPISODE 6. SUCCESS OR FAILURE?