Negotiation: war, tea room or partnership?

Hrrmmm. The more you will shout, the more you will lose.

Come on, let's face it...when we start thinking about negotiation we immediately think of a duel, an act of strength between parties, a game to be won at all costs by leaving the opponent lifeless on the field.

Yet, this is just one of the many ways of 'negotiating' with our clients...and personally speaking, it's also the worst one!

The word negotiation itself comes from the latin 'negotiatio', meaning agreement, exchange, trade: nothing to do with a duel between opposing parties, right?

Let's try to go a bit deeper and understand this crucial phase for each sales person, and also which are the three main ways to do that (we'll call them "The War", "The Tea Room" or "The Partnership")

Negotiation in sales refers to the process of reaching a mutually satisfactory agreement between a seller and a buyer regarding the terms and conditions of a sale. It involves discussions, exchanges, and compromises aimed at finding a middle ground that satisfies both parties' interests.

In sales negotiations, the seller aims to maximize the value or price of the product or service being sold, while the buyer seeks to secure the best possible deal in terms of price, quality, or additional benefits. The negotiation process typically involves several stages, including initial offers, counteroffers, concessions, and final agreement.

Effective sales negotiation requires strong communication and interpersonal skills, as well as a thorough understanding of the product or service being sold, the buyer's needs and motivations, and the market dynamics. Successful negotiations often involve finding a balance between meeting the buyer's requirements and achieving the seller's goals, leading to a win-win outcome that establishes a mutually beneficial relationship between the parties involved.

The War

This type of negotiation is the spectre of all junior salespeople: the goal is not to reach an agreement, but to assert one's reasons by shouting and banging one's fists on the desk.

It is the negotiation we use when we do not know our interlocutor at all, when the level of trust between the parties is totally inexisten, when we use all our communicative strength to make our point.?

In the end, one of us wins, and the other loses.?

Absolutely to be avoided, but the risk of being faced with a counterpart who wants to play the game this way always exists...

The Tea Room

This type of negotiation was my condemnation for a long time when I was a salesman.

Master Yoda (who resides in my head) knows this very well, and I remember that after every negotiation approached in this manner he would say to me, 'Marco, are you sure you are satisfied with the deal, hrmmm"?

And the answer was always, consistently...no.?

Tea room negotiation is one where you don't actually want to go into a fight, it puts communication on an extremely balanced and formal level, and aims to fairly divide up the spoils on the table.?

It is a way of not annoying each other, often bringing home a result that satisfies neither one side nor the other.

Sure, still better than war mode as far as I'm concerned... but more can be done (let's see how ??).?

The Partnership

If there are two slices of cake on the table, in "The War" negotiation both would go to me...in "The Tea Room" negotiation one would go to me and one to you....but in "The Partnership" negotiation, the common goal would be to bake a third slice together and make the total number of slices to be shared go from two, to three!

This is the real negotiation we must try to apply: requiring a high level of trust between the parties, common goals, open communication and transparency, without the fear of putting common challenges on the table that we both want to overcome together.?

The really interesting thing here is that both win, and both come out of the negotiations enthusiastic because they know they have found an agreement that generates more value for everyone.?

How do you make sure that every negotiation is like this? We first need to work on building a strong relationship and reputation about ourselves, our company and our services, we need to study and to deeply know your matter, we need to show that we are competent and that our goal is to generate value for the client and for us first and foremost, we need to be strong enough to say "sorry" when we're wrong...and ask for more when we produre "more value", being sure of what we're doing... with the goal of building long-lasting relationships over the years that are virtually impossible to break.