Negotiation: Think Win-Win. But Why?

I can win and so can you. How many people actually believe this? The human cognitive framework, competitive nature and inflated ego often makes us believe that there has to be a winner and a loser, also known as the win-lose attitude. Most of us have learnt to base our self-worth on comparisons and we think about success in terms of someone else failing. How fun is this win-lose game really? Why should we only be able to recognise our success through someone’s loss? “Think win-win”. As Covey said think of the win-win paradigm as the all you can eat buffet. You are not in a zero-sum game and there is in fact, believe or not, enough pie to go around!

Let’s apply Covey’s win-win paradigm to negotiation – an essential skill in life. 

We all negotiate on a daily basis. On a personal level we negotiate with friends, family, car sellers, employers, landlords and retail clerks, amongst others. Negotiation is also the key to business success across a range of industries whether you are a recruiter, a private banker, a lawyer, a teacher, a nurse or an engineer. 

While many people think of negotiation as a competition where one side wins and the other side loses, it really involves a more complex mixture of winning and losing. But I get it. I admit I thrive off winning too. But what people fail to notice is the greater success a win-win approach to negotiation where both parties come out ahead, versus a lose-lose or win-lose situation where one or both parties are worse off after negations: 

1. Long-term relationships: give and take a little. Don’t be short sighted and recognise that a long-term business partnership is more likely to last in a win-win situation versus a win-lose situation. Both parties have an incentive to negotiate with each other again, laying the foundation for a mutually beneficial working relationship. 
2. Sparking innovation: reaching a fair middle ground could mean finding a creative new solution that improves the position of both parties. The win-win attitude to negotiation involves the exchange of ideas and knowledge which often sparks creativity and innovation. 
3. Stability: win-win negotiations often have the most stable outcomes since both parties are happy with the result and do not have a reason to look back at a later time. 

It is important to recognise that a win-win attitude is not a somewhat quick-fix technique or one that suits a less aggressive or less competitive individual. Organisations or individuals that approach conflicts with a win-win attitude often possess traits including: 

1. Abundance mentality: the belief that there are enough resources and success to share with others.
2. Cooperative: the ability to mutually assist others in working towards a common goal. 
3. Humble: to possess enough self-worth, confidence and self-awareness to appreciate others’ positive worth and contributions, and do not need entitlement over others. Convey confidence, not cockiness. 

Consider, do you want to play the game of tug and war? Or piece the puzzle together? 

Not all games are zero-sum. In fact, many negotiations including competitive ones can be resolved in a way that allows both parties to win.