Negotiation Showdown: Chessboard or Tennis Racket—Which Game Are You Really Playing?
Dr. Keld Jensen (DBA)
World’s Most Awarded Negotiation Strategy ?? | Speaker | Negotiation Strategist | Global Gurus Top30 | Author | Professor | Home of SMARTnership Negotiation
Defining the Rules of the Game: A New Approach to Negotiation
Negotiation is a core function in business, and yet we often enter negotiations without a clear, defined structure. Imagine walking onto a tennis court, racket in hand, only to find that your opponent is sitting at a table with a chessboard. The game you thought you were playing is not what your counterpart had in mind.
This is a common scenario in negotiations, and the results can be disastrous. Over the years, I’ve found that one of the simplest and most effective tools to ensure productive negotiations is often overlooked: setting the Rules of the Game.
Before discussing the terms of a deal or the merits of an agreement, both parties must first agree on how they are going to negotiate. Without this, it’s like playing a football match without an agreed-upon rulebook—chaotic, confusing, and ultimately counterproductive.
Why Establishing the Rules Matters The first task in any negotiation should be discussing the process itself. How are we going to negotiate? What are the ground rules? This may seem tedious, but in reality, it saves significant time and effort later on. By agreeing on a framework—such as the agenda, the negotiation strategy, and the code of conduct—you avoid misunderstandings and set the stage for a more collaborative and transparent process.
A well-structured approach includes key questions: - Will we negotiate in a zero-sum manner, a partnership, or a SMARTnership? - How do we divide NegoEconomic value? - Who will open the exchange of information? - How do we establish trust? These are the kinds of essential discussions that lay the groundwork for successful negotiations. Without addressing them upfront, both parties risk walking into the negotiation with completely different expectations, much like bringing a tennis racket to a chess match.
The Lack of a Negotiation Strategy in Business
Here’s an interesting observation: most businesses have clearly defined strategies for their marketing, R&D, HR, and legal departments. Yet, very few have a strategy for negotiation. How can that be? Negotiation impacts every corner of a business, from supplier agreements to customer contracts, yet it remains largely undefined as a core competence in most organizations. I’ve spoken to countless executives across various industries and cultures, and the trend is the same. Very few have a structured negotiation approach in place. Instead, they rely on their "gut" feelings or emotional responses, which often lead to subpar outcomes. Negotiators become reactive rather than proactive. They lose control of the conversation and are driven by emotions rather than a clear strategy.
Successful negotiation requires much more than instinct. It needs planning, a clear strategy, and most importantly, a SMARTnership mindset—one where both parties collaborate to create more value, co-innovate, and establish long-term partnerships rather than just trying to win a single battle.
The Negotiation Code of Conduct: A Framework for Success Every organization should have a Negotiation Code of Conduct.
This is not just a set of moral guidelines but a practical tool to guide behavior and decision-making during negotiations. At its core, the Code of Conduct should outline what you will and will not do in any negotiation. For example, in my own business, I’ve developed a code that we adhere to rigorously: - We will not bluff or lie. - We will not inflate offers. - We will not engage in emotional manipulation or use aggressive tactics. - We will be open and transparent about variables, sharing information equally. - We will prioritize trust and mutual respect throughout the process. This code is not just for internal use. I encourage you to ask your negotiation partners to adopt it as well. It sets the tone for a transparent, respectful negotiation, and it helps both sides to stay aligned, even when tensions rise. In fact, I’ve found that when both parties agree to a common set of ethical standards, it greatly improves the atmosphere of trust and collaboration. It assures your partners that you’re committed to fairness, which in turn increases the likelihood of a successful, value-driven outcome.
Preparing for the Unconscious Negotiation
Negotiation starts long before you sit at the table. There’s an internal dialogue that takes place between your conscious and subconscious mind. Many negotiators enter a conversation with preconceived notions—sometimes overly optimistic, sometimes unnecessarily pessimistic. This internal negotiation can set the tone for how the actual negotiation unfolds. For example, if you enter a negotiation expecting the other side to be combative, that mindset can color the entire interaction. Alternatively, if you believe that cooperation is impossible, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Recognizing these unconscious biases and addressing them beforehand can make a significant difference. Part of the preparation process should be thinking through possible outcomes, analyzing your power position, and anticipating the other side’s moves. This is especially important when time is involved.
Time Is Negotiable
A key lesson in negotiation that many forget is that time is negotiable. Too often, negotiators feel pressured by external deadlines—be it a vacation, a flight, or a looming project deadline. This can lead to rushed decisions and poor outcomes. Time is a variable that should always be up for negotiation. For example, if you're not adequately prepared, it’s better to delay the negotiation than to rush through it. If you feel pressured by an upcoming vacation or external commitments, that pressure will almost certainly impact the quality of your decisions.
Don’t hesitate to ask for more time, even if the other side is pushing for an immediate resolution. Remember, a rushed agreement is rarely a good agreement.
The Power of an Agenda
Another critical tool in negotiation is the agenda. A well-structured agenda serves as a roadmap for the negotiation, helping to keep the conversation organized and focused. It ensures that all key points are addressed and prevents either party from being blindsided by unexpected issues. However, there’s a caveat here. Some negotiators may resist an agenda, feeling that it locks them into a rigid structure that stifles creativity. In such cases, flexibility is key. Use the agenda as a guide, but be prepared to adjust as needed. The goal is to have a framework, not a straightjacket.
Looking at the Other Party’s Requirements Before diving into your own needs
Take the time to fully understand the requirements of the other party. Too often, negotiators make the mistake of focusing solely on their own objectives without considering what the other side truly wants. By understanding their needs—both stated and unstated—you gain valuable insight into how to craft solutions that meet their interests while still advancing your own. In every negotiation, there are opportunities for mutual gain. The key is to find them, and that requires a thorough understanding of the other party's perspective.
Final Thoughts
Negotiation is not just about winning or getting the best deal. It’s about creating value, building relationships, and fostering long-term partnerships. By establishing clear Rules of the Game, developing a well-thought-out strategy, adhering to a code of conduct, and preparing for both the conscious and unconscious aspects of negotiation, you set the stage for success. Let’s move away from outdated, adversarial negotiation tactics and toward a SMARTnership approach—one where both parties win, not at each other’s expense, but through collaboration and trust.
Keld Jensen, Doctor of Business Administration (DBA), is an internationally recognized negotiation expert, ranked #4 by Global Gurus. He is a keynote speaker and author of 27 books, including his latest, The Elements of Negotiation: 103 Tactics for Everyone to Win in Each Deal. Keld is also a professor at four prestigious universities: Aalborg University, BMI Executive Institute, BMI/Louvain University, and Thunderbird School of Global Management. With over 30 years of experience, he founded the SMARTnership? negotiation philosophy, emphasizing trust, transparency, and collaboration. He has advised global corporations and governments, transforming their negotiation strategies to create long-term value and success.
Professor of Negotiation & Influencing | #3 in Top 30 Global Gurus for Negotiation | Former Procurement Executive
1 个月Excellent article Keld! The fact of defining the rules of the game (what I call The Process) is often underestimated
Global Communication & Negotiation Specialist, Lawyer, Musician & Author
1 个月The limitation of this approach is the frustration many of us have dealt with over a lifetime. If you’re negotiating with, or representing a major corporation, in the absence of an enforceable contract (and even with one!), big companies simply change their minds, especially up the chain ???? Hundreds of times I’ve had agreement reached for a contract with the local office, say, in Australia, only to be told based on subsequent edicts issued in head office in USA ???? or France ????, “sorry, based on head office directives, we can’t continue with this”. My point is, in the absence of an enforceable agreement, organisations do not consider themselves bound, so seeking to rely on negotiation process frameworks preceding a deal, are at best, a hope, at worst, a point of vulnerability. It’s certainly not a new approach. For major mining deals & others, for a long time pre negotiation/agreements - workshops, introductions, even engagement protocols, have been conducted. But ultimately, they are often expressions of hope, more honoured in the breach. A classic - companies will fly in a senior exec negotiator, who takes over (their side), refusing to be bound by pre-existing protocols, or even agreed terms
IT business outsourcing - defining good industry practice
1 个月One of the newer genres in boardgames are cooperative games. Harry Potter - work togethet to beat Voldemort, Pandemic - work togethet to save the world from viruses. The list is long. There negotation piece in these games are not to beat each other but to distribute powers and abilities to tackle the coming future as best as possible. I would love to see a future analogy based ln cooperative boardgames ;). And as an added bonus - cooperative board games draws in alot more women than classic Beat your opponent board games. This allows for a way bigger talent pool and thus more value creation.
Commercial Leader, Deal Maker, Creative Thinker, Coach, Author, Product Developer
1 个月Great article and the tennis analogy Dr. Keld Jensen (DBA) . Agree we can’t jump right into issues and I preach that intro call first before diving into the negotiation. For the most part there is still a human on the other side, so we need to remember that the emotional battle of “my position” can be diffused quickly just by taking 10 mins over a virtual coffee to start.
Facilitator, advisor and trainer, in negotiation, mediation & conflict resolution, keynote speaker
1 个月Negotiating how to negotiate is very often overlooked. Thanks for bringing it up Dr. Keld Jensen (DBA)!