Negotiation – a ‘life-skill’!

The ‘art of negotiation’ is one of the skills that needs to be taught & ‘practised’ in schools, colleges, management institutes and even corporates. Since it is called an ‘art’ it cannot be taught through text books but only through regular practise and role-plays. I believe, negotiation skills are one of the ‘life skills’ that every individual must possess. Not all negotiations are for a multi-million dollar deals, some may be even more valuable like signing up a domestic help in a city like Mumbai J. Consciously or sub-consciously, we are constantly negotiating. It is a misnomer that professionals in Sales or Business Development only negotiate. Consider these scenarios where we ‘negotiate’ in our day to day life:

• Parents with their children to ensure ‘home-work’ is completed on schedule
• Children with parents to ‘let them be’
• Students with teachers for a day off
• Teachers with students for being on time
• Husbands with ‘their’ wives to watch the ‘Manchester Derby’ (Manchester Derby is only a place holder, you could replace it with India Vs. Pakistan cricket match) instead of going shopping
• Wives with their husbands to get out of bed for a ‘monthly visit’ to her parents’ house
• With spouses/children to get control of the ‘remote control’!
• With friends to watch a movie of choice or visit a restaurant of choice
• Subordinates with supervisors for a better/larger role
• Employees with management for better/higher remuneration
• With prospects to sign up a deal at a preferred rate
• With customers to ensure they continue with the service
• With colleagues and peers to get a ‘buy-in’ on a turnkey project
• With the team to deliver a project on time
• With the tech team to make a code-change on a Saturday. Yes, Saturday!
• With the agency to deliver a creative concept overnight
• With a prospective employee to sign up for a job role
• A start-up is perpetually negotiating with its investors for funds

You get the drift. Negotiation skill is the skill that is far more in ‘use’ than some of the ‘technical’/commercial skills one may have. You may be a student, parent, teacher, professional, self-employed, home-maker or retired – we are all constantly negotiating.

In my humble opinion, here are some tenets for honing our negotiation skills:

Prepare. Prepare. Prepare: If the negotiation is important for you, better prepare for it. Preparing for a negotiation is: actually completing the ‘negotiation’ in your mind or with someone you trust. Negotiation is akin to playing chess, ‘what if’ scenarios need to be analysed before the first move is made.

• What will I say?
• What will my client/customer response be?
• What will be my fall-back plan?
• What are my client/customer’s options?
• What are my options?
• Why should the client/customer sign up with me?

Know your Client/Customer/Supervisor/Teacher/Investor well: This is the ‘home-work’ one must do before getting down to the negotiating table. This enables you to ‘play your cards’ well and at the right time.

• What are my client’s/teacher’s/investor’s priorities?
• How important am I in their scheme of things?
• What are the pressures he/she is under?
• What can I do to alleviate the pressures?
• Is he/she evaluating more partners?

You can’t win everything, every time: There are some negotiations where it may be wise to ‘drop your weapons’ and concede defeat. As they say: It is fine to lose a battle, as long as you win the war!

Not everything is worth winning/negotiating: Anyone who has been in sales or business development will know this – there are sales/clients that we hope we hadn’t signed. There is little joy in signing up a client/customer at an obnoxiously low fee, but they were signed to satisfy someone’s ‘sales ego’. Choose the war you want to fight, carefully.

‘Win-Lose’ negotiations are unhealthy in the long run: Imagine a long term relationship where one party always loses. This may be a recipe for disaster. As a rule, always ‘leave money on the table’ for the other party to feel ‘in the game’.

Negotiation isn’t a test of oratory skills: Most negotiations are won by the party that has spoken the least. It is about listening and responding at the right time.

Desperation never wins: Being desperate is akin to playing a game of cards, with all cards open. The person who blinks first loses the deal. A good negotiator is blessed with patience. He/She can wait for long periods/spells without making a move.  

Stop being transactional: In a long term relationship, ‘missing the woods for the trees’ may be signs of danger. It is fine to let go of some negotiations. Look at the overall relationship value.

Raising the ‘red flag’ helps: There are times when communicating your business/personal situation helps you complete the negotiation quickly and successfully. This is particularly true in long term relationships. Most often, negotiations fail because one party has not been able to explain the urgency/situation clearly and candidly. Open communication channels play an important role in building trust.

Always Be Closing (ABC) is good for Sales but not true for all negotiations: The best negotiation is one where your client/customer/investor feels that they have won because of the way the deal/offer was closed. All good negotiators let the other party feel that they have won.

Your views are most welcome. More, the merrier. Cheers!!!