Negotiation is a key skill for communicators

Right now you're reading a past issue of The Curious Route ?newsletter. I release a NEW issue like this each Tuesday. Join 1,450+ curious communicators from companies like Pinterest, Burberry, Formula 1, Nestle, Michael Kors and Unilever who read The Curious Route weekly.

Subscribe ?today to get future issues delivered directly to your inbox.

Hot take: you can’t succeed at internal communication unless you have effective negotiation skills.

And yet we never see “negotiation skills” listed on job specs for internal communicators.

We negotiate with our colleagues and stakeholders all the time. We need to influence decisions, build trust and rapport, understand our audiences, handle difficult conversations and persuade people to do things our way.

You can’t do any of these without successfully negotiating with people.

But traditional negotiation techniques often fall short and do not understand that the key to successful negotiation lies in the psychology of communication.

What is negotiation?

In its simplest form, negotiation is a discussion aimed at reaching an agreement.

What can we learn from an FBI hostage negotiator?

Chris Voss is a former FBI hostage negotiator who spent years bargaining with kidnappers, bank robbers and terrorists in high-stakes situations. He is now a bestselling author, and his book “Never Split the Difference” is an outstanding collection of negotiation lessons.

Voss argues that effective negotiation requires an understanding of human behaviour and an excellent ability to listen. He advocates for a negotiation approach founded on what he calls “tactical empathy” to influence people’s emotions and decisions successfully. Tactical empathy is like emotional intelligence on steroids; you not only recognise the perspective of the other person but you also vocalise that recognition so they see it.

3 negotiation techniques to try out

Here’s 3 techniques from the book that you can play round with to become a more effective negotiator. I personally use these approaches all the time. These tactics take practice and feel strange at the start – but give it a go. I assure you it’s worth it.

1. Mirroring: This is when you repeat or paraphrase the last few words the other person has said. This technique keeps the other person talking and encourages them to share more information. By mimicking the other persons language and behaviour, you’re also building familiarity and rapport. This technique will enable you to learn a LOT about how the other person feels and thinks, which you can then use to your advantage.
2. Labelling: Labels are just verbal observations. This is a method to identify and validate the emotions or concerns of the other person. By labeling the emotions, negotiators can deescalate tense situations and foster an atmosphere of cooperation. What this looks like in practice is you saying “It sounds like…” or “It feels like…” or “It looks like…” and then labelling the other person’s emotions. It is outrageously effective at getting the other person to feel heard and understood, leading to an increase in trust.
3. The “Accusation Audit”: This is an approach to negotiation in which you begin by defusing the negatives that the other person is probably thinking about you. It involves listing the worst accusations they could make against you, and addressing them upfront. This can defuse potential defences by proactively addressing their concerns before they have a chance to voice them.

How can I use this in my role as an internal communicator?

Here are some practical ways to use these techniques in your role.

• Negotiating resources: I’ve never once met an internal communicator who had all the resources, budget and team members they needed. Resources can be limited and in high demand. Use your newfound negotiation skills to secure the resources you need to succeed.
• Building trust and rapport: Successful internal communication relies on trust and rapport between colleagues. By employing techniques like mirroring and labelling, you can establish stronger connections and foster a climate of openness and cooperation.
• Resolve conflict: We often deal with conflicts around messaging, content, tactics, approval processes, overall objectives… you name it, we see it. Use tactical empathy to build a better understanding of your stakeholders and their objectives in order to negotiate successfully to get the outcome that you want.

If this has piqued your interest, I really highly recommend getting a copy of the book “Never Split the Difference ”. It’s been a staple of my bookshelf for years and I re-read it again and again. Negotiation is crucial for anyone working in internal communication. Effective negotiation skills help you to build positive relationships, resolve conflicts and advocate for your ideas.

Whenever you're ready, I can help you in 3 ways:

• Join my group coaching programme. The IC Accelerator is a group coaching session for ambitious, action-oriented communicators who want to take their skills and career to the next level with direct support from me. Click here to learn more .

• Give yourself some pain relief. I have created a collection of tried-and-tested templates, how-to guides and checklists to give you step-by-step instructions on many of the processes that you need to excel in your role. These will reduce the pain of an internal comms job. You can find my Internal Comms Cheat Sheets here .

• Hire me for a workshop. I run bespoke, in-house trainings and workshops for teams all over the world, delivered remotely or in-person. Some recent workshops include "How to be a trusted advisor", "How to create an internal comms team charter", "How to nail the basics of excellent internal communication". Email or DM me if you'd like to discuss a workshops for your team.