Negotiation Friends & Foes

Mastering Emotional Intelligence in negotiations.

Let's talk about emotions in negotiations. They're costing companies millions. I've seen it happen more times than I can count, and it's a real problem we need to tackle head-on.

Emotions hijack your negotiations

Have you ever been in a negotiation where your negative feelings about the other person completely screwed up the process? You're not alone. I've seen seasoned professionals:

• Walk away from great deals just because they disliked the vendor
• Miss crucial details due to personal biases
• Overpay simply because they liked and trusted someone too much

It's a common issue; I call it the "Friends & Foes" principle in my training workshops.

Basically, the idea is to focus on the deal, not the person across the table.

It's simple, right? But it's incredibly powerful when you put it into practice.

I'll break it down for you:

1. The "Friends & Foes" exercise

In my workshops, we do this, and it's an eye-opening exercise every time:

1. Negotiate with someone you trust
2. Then switch to someone you don't

For each decision, ask yourself:

"Would I make the same choice if this were the other person?"

If your answer is "no," your emotions influence you more than the facts.

2. Reframe your thinking

Instead of :

"Who am I dealing with?", ask "What am I solving?"

This shift in perspective makes a big difference difference. It pulls you out of your emotional spider web and back to the core issues.

3. Emotional detachment (The good kind)

It's not cold or robotic. It's simply staying clear-headed so you can spot real opportunities, no matter who's presenting them.

Real-world example

Imagine you're going to turn down a proposal from a vendor who's already messed up. You're happy to tell them to jog on. But... their new offer could save your company a lot of money.

Using the "Friends & Foes" principle, you'd:

1. Put your personal grudge aside

2. Look at the deal objectively

3. Make a decision based on what's best for your business, not your feelings

That's the power of separating people from problems. It's about making smart choices, not emotional ones.

Putting it into practice

Want to start using this approach in your own negotiations? Try these tips:

1. Check your emotions: Before you walk into a negotiation, take a moment. Are you carrying any biases or grudges?

2. Set clear criteria: Establish measurable benchmarks for your decisions. It helps keep emotions out of the equation.

3. Challenge yourself: Try arguing from the other side's perspective. It's a brilliant way to spot your own blind spots.

4. Take a breather: Don't be afraid to call for a short break if things get heated. Use it to reset and refocus.

Remember, managing your emotions in negotiations isn't about ignoring them. It's about understanding and handling them effectively. Like any skill, it gets better with practice.

Want to dive deeper?

If you're interested in mastering these strategies and more, come join my Negotiation Mastery Workshop. We'll cover:

1. How to neutralise emotional biases
2. The "Judgment-Free Zone" framework
3. Advanced tactics to protect your interests in any negotiation

Don't let your emotions cost you or your company. Let's go ahead and turn those pitfalls into your secret advantage.

Simply DM me if you're interested in joining the workshop and I will keep you updated from there on!

Cheers, Scott