Negotiation, a daily practice (1)

We discussed some weeks ago about the concept of Sales, and how Sales are absolutely different from Negotiation. Actually there is an adage in Negotiation which says: “ never let Sales enter the Negotiation room”. Today we are going to explore some concepts about Negotiation, and this will be part of a series of articles regarding Negotiation. It’s a practice that I really love and that is part of my life...because we spend the whole day negotiating, should it be in our profesional life with our team, peers, bosses or customers and in our personal ones with our families and friends.

Let’s try to start with a definition of what we understand by Negotiation: Negotiation is a process of combining conflicting positions into a common one, under a decision rule of unanimity. Let’s breakdown this definition to be really aware of its implications. First item: it’s a process, hence it’s not a “one shot” deal; negotiation takes time and it requires you to invest time in it. Second point: there is conflict linked to Negotiation. Many people reject conflict but conflict is part of our daily life and therefore you negotiate every single day. Conflict doesn’t mean necessarily something negative but you have to realize that this notion of conflict is what makes Negotiation uncomfortable for some people. Third one: it’s about combining, that is to say it requires a mutual effort of both parts to find a new position. And in this process both parts will certainly leave some of their initial demands behind, but they will eventually create a new reality that will satisfy their needs. And last element: unanimity. No Negotiation can be sustainable if both parts don’t leave the room feeling really satisfied with the agreement reached, though they have left behind some demands while getting others. This is why we can conclude that Negotiation is a balance.

I would say as well that there is also a lot of self attitude in Negotiation. One of the first elements or advices I would give to any person starting in this fascinating world is to be in charge of yourself. Being in charge means to really understand all the implications of the Negotiation currently ongoing, to have a deep preparation of the topic (we will come back to it). Being a good negotiator means as well that you know the code and the language of Negotiation. Every Negotiation has a particular code and a specific language, which comes from multiple points: your industry, your company culture, your personal style, your customer sector, your client style, the ongoing topic to negotiate, etc. Indeed there is no general advice for this, as you understand it changes from every single situation, even with the same customer, but you need to be aware of both items.

In these series about Negotiation we will introduce several techniques or best practices and the first one is Anchoring. You may have heard of this concept with different names but the idea behind it is that you will never end any Negotiation at the point where it started. There will be concessions as part of the natural process but Anchoring does never mean that you should start from an unrealistic point, as this will kill trust and confidence...and no Negotiation can either run without both. As part of the preparation process you need to know where you can position your anchor so it is something realistic for your counterpart, despite the concessions both parts will make during the whole process. Regarding Anchoring there is something we have to be aware: there is a human natural tendency to rely too heavily on the very first piece of information offered, so the necessity to really prepare and think what kind of information you will disclose at the beginning.

More on, there is another statement that is really important to eliminate from our Negotiation practices: how many times have we been told that you should not talk first? Well, let me tell you that the one who moves first is because.....he can! If you talk first you are actually anchoring the Negotiation closer to the territory where you want to be. This idea is linked to Power and Power is a concept that rules as well the Negotiation process.There is another human tendency that comes naturally here, as we tend to think that the other party has more power than we do...they probably think the same about us, so don’t be afraid to use your legitimate power to obtain a good deal.

Another natural inclination we have in Negotiation is to think that the overall pie is smaller than it really is. We will touch a word about how we can make the pie bigger, understanding by “pie” all the different tradable elements that can be shared during a Negotiation process. Our role as negotiators is to deliver satisfaction to the other side; don’t forget that if the other party leaves the Negotiation table, once the process is finished, with the feeling that they have been fooled, it’s a bad Negotiation, no matter how many concessions you might have won from the other side. This situation is just not sustainable. Truth is that the more difficult you make it to obtain, the concessions made will be more valued by people, but do not stretch the rope too much so you break the sustainability of the agreement.

Don’t forget that Negotiation is a ritual and that you need to practice it to become a good negotiator...the World has never learned as fast about anything, ever.