Negotiating While Pregnant

This weekend, I read dozens of awesome stories of the motherhood experience for women who work outside of the home. While I am not a mother- I am a daughter, sister, aunt, godmom, and friend to many moms. I have given advice to those closest to me about negotiating while pregnant and this article is an abbreviated version of those complex conversations.

Women Still Have To Defend Their Value in Many Workplaces

Women add significant value to the workforce a report by Deloitte, presented data that companies who employ women in leadership roles perform better than those that do not. The companies in the report show evidence that the companies who employ women leaders have a higher return on equity and sales. The case for women in the workplace has been proven in many case studies. There is significant upside to hiring and retaining women leaders but women still have to defend the value they add to the workplace.

The Dilemma When To Share The News

When a working woman finds out she’s pregnant she experiences a range of emotions surrounding when to share her exciting news and how long she can wait to share it. This complexity comes from the of fear of being judged as someone who can no longer perform her work duties. Yes, in 2018, women still have to address these crazy notions after many years of women proving the value they add before, during, and after pregnancy. Sharing the news of pregnancy much less negotiating while pregnant can seem like a muddy obstacle course. 

Here are 5 strategies to use while negotiating while pregnant.

1. Facts over feelings - Do not make any assumptions about what people may think of you for asking for more at work. It is advantageous to put yourself in the other person's shoes, however, focusing too much on what the other person thinks may influence your feelings towards your request and your risk talking yourself out of asking. Speak to your contributions to the team and company based on the facts of your work performance to avoid doubting your skills.

Pro Tip: Put Yourself in the other person’s shoes and present your request in terms of how this is a win/win for all. Speak to the facts of your work performance.

2. Speak to your success - It’s ok to brag about your contributions especially as a way to leverage that success in a negotiation and get more of what you want. A great time to negotiate is on the heels of a win at work ( yes, even when you are pregnant). Share praise of your work with your supervisor. Consider kudos you have received from clients, peers, higher-ups, etc.

3. Understand the dynamics of office politics - Office politics can be used to your advantage. Many decisions about promotions and/or raises are made when you’re not in the room. It’s important to have people to speak on your behalf and advocate for you in those meetings.

        Pro Tip: Speak with trusted mentors/sponsors about your career aspirations to get buy-in and support.

4. Be confident, sound confident, act confident - When you have the conversation don’t apologize for asking or downplay your request. Remember to make eye contact with the person and speak to how your request is a benefit for the team/organization and you.

5. Express enthusiasm and excitement for your continued contributions to work - Some of the backlash that women experience is related to the uncertainty of their return to the workplace after giving birth. If your plan is to return to work express your commitment and enthusiasm to return to duties of your work.

This is a hard conversation to have, some women in my inner circle have prepared for the conversation by talking with other mothers who have negotiated while pregnant. They have taken that advice and integrated it into a strategy to negotiate.

Overcome the Fear to Ask

One of my dear friends was perplexed about negotiating with her supervisor for new office space and furniture she was just weeks away from maternity leave. She wrestled with her the decision to ask for the 20 plus-year-old furniture to be replaced but decided the worst that could happen was that she’d get a no. She presented her request and got a yes. Upon her return to work from maternity leave she started back with new office furniture. The old adage is true if you don't ask, you won't get.

Don’t talk yourself out of negotiating for what you want in your career.