Negotiating Through Conflict

Do you run away from conflict, or are you in their boots and all, ready to win at all costs??

I know this is a major challenge for people right across the world because conflict is just a part of life. How you navigate that conflict will determine whether your outcomes are good for you, others, and the greater good.??

Stick with me because this week, I want to show you some alternatives to what it is that you might be doing now so that you can get a different result.??

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, VUCA Leadership and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to continue our conversation as we go through the competencies of relationship management by teaching you how to negotiate through conflict.??

Conflict is inevitable; it’s something that is always going to be there. When you have people with differing ideas and experiences, and they're looking at the world through a different lens than the people around them, you’re going to have misunderstandings.??

When people are not able to manage their responses to their emotions, conflicts can escalate, creating a lot of negative energy in your workplace, home, or community.??

When people have an opinion that's different to yours, that might rub you the wrong way and vice versa.??

Building relationships with people is a crucial element of being a leader. Knowing that relationships are going to have ups and downs, you need to be empowered to not only lead yourself through conflict but inspire others to navigate conflict in a certain way as well.??

Let's talk about these elements that are going to help you to do that.??

The first thing you need to do is to recognise that communication and building these communication competencies is the key:?

Actively listening.?

Having empathy and understanding for others.?

Allowing people to have an opinion that is different to yours without that being a concern doesn't make either of you wrong; it just makes your opinion different.??

Bringing all these things together, using that process I taught you around communication where when you encode your communication and send it out across the different mediums that you can use through that noise that's around. Then, decoding what they think you said, putting together their response, encoding it, and sending it back, and so on and so forth, and it continues to go on.?

The key challenge in conflict is to make sure that you move away from the noise and remove the thought patterns that are around: “I need to win because if I don't, it says _____ about me.”??

All those things that we deal with in personal power as well they're the key foundations of being able to navigate conflict.??

Once you have looked at those things, the next thing you need to do is to remember that people communicate, behave, and respond differently to you and in certain situations.??

So, having a deeper understanding — using your empathy — of the other people who are involved in the conflict is going to help you to navigate this in a healthier way.??

The next thing to look at is that you and I use particular go-to styles when we are forced into conflict.??

Sometimes, people go looking for conflict. Other times, it just comes across your desk and into your path, and your response to what conflict means, in the first instance, is the key for you unlocking the ability to shift the different styles that you can use.??

Conflict negotiation is about collaborating with other people to find a result that is good for you, them, and the greater good.??

Sometimes it’s simple; sometimes it’s complex, and the more situations and people that are involved is what creates that.??

I want to tell you about five key styles that people use in conflict, and as I do that, I want you to identify your go-to style.??

Now, all these styles are valid and can be used in conflict situations. Unfortunately, when you use a particular style and no other, or you use styles in the wrong part of a negotiation, that's what takes things off the rails and stops you from getting the result that you want.??

The first style is Avoiding....

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Grant Herbert (aka The People Builder) describes himself as an ordinary guy, with an outstanding wife and 5 amazing kids, who has a passion to help people escape the performance trap and regain their authenticity in every area of life. He is a VUCA Leadership Mentor, Sustainable Performance Coach, Master Coach Trainer in Social and Emotional Intelligence,?and the founder of People Builders.

Visit?www.grantherbert.com ?to find out how you can connect.