Negotiating a Raise: Diffusing Hardball tactics & Knowing When to Exit

Negotiation, stripped down to its bare bones, is nothing more than a series of problem-solving encounters. Yet, we still run into individuals who view it as a zero-sum game, willing to employ hardball tactics to ensure their "win." One such hardball tactic is displaying aggression and unfortunately, it's not unusual to come across leaders who use this approach.

The problem with hardball tactics is that they tend to put the other party in the fight, flight or freeze mode. As neuroscience research suggests, our decision making abilities are not at their optimal when operating from this survival mode. Yet, we see that the need to dominate or win at all costs tempts people to use this technique over and over again.

The question is, how do we respond?

Diffusing aggression

Remember to adapt negotiation tactics to suit different styles and circumstances. If you anticipate hard ball negotiation from a manger after giving them ample heads up, here's how you play it smart:

First, be prepared for the unexpected - like a manager who feigns shock or showcases anger. Your move? Diffuse the situation. Politely propose a different time for the discussion, something like, "It seems now may not be the best time to discuss this. When can we reschedule?"

Stay calm. That's your superpower.

When you encounter hardball tactics from a leader, you'll need to do some introspection. More on that later.

At the rescheduled meeting, don't let the previous encounter impact the current conversation. Start fresh. Share the value you've added to the company, how your performance has translated into results, and let the numbers back your claims.

If the answer is still a "no," ask why. Then ask what needs to change in your performance or responsibilities for you to qualify for the raise. If you receive constructive feedback, take it graciously, and propose a review in three and then six months to reassess your progress.

However, if your manager can't provide you with a reasonable roadmap, maintain your professionalism and thank them. Now it's time for some reflection.

Reflection

Facing off against hardball tactics with a direct manager presents a chance to reconsider your current path - is this the cultural environment you see yourself thriving in? Could another role within the company be better suited to your personality and aspirations, or could a fresh opportunity outside this company be the change you need?

And remember to guard against cognitive distortions. We are prone to self-criticism, often attributing failures to our shortcomings. Remember to cut yourself some slack. Remind yourself that you are a capable and inspiring individual and that you bring immense value to the table.

Training

Picture this: a 25-year-old employee enters the job market at a $55,000 salary. Fast forward to a forty-year career with annual 5% raises, and they'll be raking in $634,000 more than an employee who started out at $50,000.

Learn to negotiate your salary with this free step by step audio guide:

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/fightforyourworth