Negotiating the Blank Space in Your Work and Life

The one finite resource we humans all have to deal with is time. In the story of our lives, we’re born, we live, we die, and we have no control over how long that story lasts. We do have control over the quality of that time; the strategies we employ to harmonize our doing and being.

 In my senior year of college oh-so-many-years-ago, my brain burning from a Shakespeare final, I headed to my performance final for my BFA in theatre. I had to cross a long stretch of grass to get to the performance space, and for some reason, I stopped in the middle of the lawn. I saw other students, just like me, heads down barreling toward what was next. I looked at my sneakers, and then up at the sky. The clouds were shapeshifting into tigers and elephants and old women. I took off my sneakers and felt my feet on the grass. It was cool. My toes grabbed the blades of grass.

That very moment was the first time I had ever experienced being conscious that I was conscious. I was present. And I was having thoughts about my thoughts; an ability that, as far as we know, distinguishes us from other sentient beings.

What I learned from that experience was the value of the pause. 

That moment on the lawn created the space to settle. To reflect. And to prepare for what was next. And it informed my life from that point forward to consciously create breath in my days to think. To ponder. To ideate. To read. To be.

Years later as my business partner and I were just building She Negotiates, a colleague suggested working with her business coach so I could “book myself solid” every week. I said, “that’s great, but I don’t want to be booked solid.” She asked me if I’d fallen off a ladder and hit my head.

I told her I’d rather do deep, quality, well-compensated work than say yes to everything and everyone just to be scheduled 9-5. All these years later, I’d like to share two practices that might be helpful in navigating the busyness of your work and life.

Create Blank Space

Creating blank space is all about scheduling time to honor your commitments and values. If you are committed to one hour of special time every day with your two-year-old, commit blank space to it in your calendar. If you are committed to coaching and developing two of your reports, commit blank space to it in your calendar. If you’re committed to one hour a week to do nothing (and everything), commit to it in your calendar.

Protect Blank Space

(BTW, today is my birthday and this is a screenshot of my schedule. I know that my morning time block will be spent hiking with friends, and the evening with more friends and ANNE LAMOTT!!!. But I have no idea what's happening from 12-4.)

This is where the rubber meets the road. It’s easy to block out time in your calendar for any of your commitments. It’s also insanely human to disregard it and say YES to the shiny new object in front of you. But protecting your blank space means making friends with the word NO.

I can give you all kinds of tips for protecting your blank space and saying NO, but you already know them all. Put your running shoes by the door. Put your headphones on when you don’t want to be interrupted. Suggest a colleague for an urgent project.

But the best remedy to stop throwing your blank space under the bus is to remember that you have finite time. Ask yourself if you really want to say at the end of your days that you didn’t have time for … Homework? Coaching your talented people? Friends? Sex? The Grand Canyon on a full moon? The project that would make your career?

Settle down. Get present. And protect your blank space. Real leadership depends on it.

#Leadership #Balance #Productivity

Lisa is a salary consultant and leadership coach who helps women design and negotiate their livelihoods. She is the co-founder of She Negotiates and the author of five titles at LinkedIn Learning, including Negotiation Fundamentals, Conflict Resolution Fundamentals, Coaching and Developing Employees, Coaching for Results, and Asking for a Raise.