The Negativity In Our Self Talk

The Negative Self Talk Is A Lie

We have the opportunity see or hear something that resonates and inspires a new action. Someone describes how they were successful, thru sheer focus and massive action, able to achieve a goal that seemed daunting. We listen and begin to think that, hmm, I can do this as well. Perhaps it is a weight loss goal, beginning a business, or writing a book. We become excited and very well begin the process head on and sprint out of the gate. Somewhere along the way, we run into some resistance or some sort of obstacle. We are slowed down or maybe even stopped. What is the next step? For many, it is the voice wondering what you were doing in the first place. Almost shouting “What were you thinking about?”. So begins the conversation we have with ourselves seemingly designed to put us in our place. Negative conversations we have that can be the kiss of death towards continuing down the path we began a short time ago. Some of the questions might sound something like this.

What were you thinking about?

What you are trying to do only works for others

Your background and upbringing does not qualify you to seek more.

Why don’t you go back to the level you are comfortable?

It is not your time

You do not have what it takes

You have to take care of others first

Do you see anything positive or more importantly, any truth to the questions or statements above. For some, unfortunately yes. For others and I hope this includes you, It is simply negative self -talk and a lie.

The reality is that you do in fact qualify no matter where or how you started. Your past does not define what your future looks like unless your present signs off on it. The truth is that you do have what it takes and there is no better time than Now to pursue your goals and dreams. The only person stopping you is frankly, you. The words you say about yourself and to yourself go a long way towards influencing if you move forward or remain stuck in the current rut. Words do matter especially coming from you. Rather than becoming your worst critic, become your best confidant towards remaining engaged in the new process. Sometimes, it is simply a matter of saying something kind to yourself. Reflect a moment on how we feel when someone gives us a compliment on something we have on, a comment we make, or a completed project at work. Our mode brightens as does our confidence. We are looking for acceptance. Looking from a different perspective, there are quite a number who feel inspired by the number of likes they receive on something posted on Social Media. LinkedIn has a measurement tool that will tell us how many people viewed or clicked in addition to how many liked or commented. I could very easily get caught up in my emotions if 500 people read this article and only 4 people publicly hit like. That conversation could go down the path of sheer rejection. It could look a little like this.

Wow, no one likes my work.

I am just going to stop writing

I must not be very good.

What did I do to them?

I am no good.

Perhaps a little over the top but the point is simple. A negative thought or conversation derails progress that we are making. Rather than worrying about the number of likes, be encouraged that you did something out of your comfort zone. (Where is the like button for that?). Don’t allow a perceived rejection or obstacle get in the way of the progress you are making. You are better than that and you must continue towards finishing what was started. Become kinder to yourself in the words, thoughts, and actions you take in response to yourself.

In my view, the conversation should go more like this.

I am pleased that you are writing every day. Perhaps someone is getting something out of your words.

I do qualify to accomplish my goal.

I am more than capable of accomplishing anything I set my mind to do.

This is absolutely the right time.

I am proud of your progress.

What we say to ourselves go a long way towards pushing us further than we thought possible. There will be enough external obstacles along the way. There is no need to beat yourself up internally as well.

Be nicer to yourself!