Negative Self-Talk & What Happens To Our Brains

Negative self-talk is a distressingly common experience among adolescent girls, high-achieving women, and first-generation leaders. It often leads to significant anxiety, insecurity, and self-doubt, stifling your courage and potential for leadership. In this article, I aim to shed light on why many women share these struggles, helping you realize that you are not alone and providing strategies to shift your mindset.

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The female brain naturally tends to ruminate, repeatedly reviewing and analysing thoughts deeply. When women are emotional, the parts of our brains that handle emotions become highly active.

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Following this emotional response, two other parts of our brain kick into gear: one involves verbal processing, which prompts us to want to talk through our feelings; the other is within the prefrontal cortex, which handles problem-solving but also dwells on worst-case scenarios. Sadly, this often results in heightened anxiety and stress.

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Furthermore, today’s societal pressures serve to amplify negative self-talk. Unrealistic standards from parents, schools, and media outlets, including social media, and cultural expectations about perfectionism and appearance create an overwhelming environment for us as high-achieving women.

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The intense daily scrutiny can make it nearly impossible for us to measure up, on top of all the stereotypes and biases that further complicate things. Recognizing that these external factors play a significant role in our internal struggles is important.

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Understanding these factors can help us better support our daughters, ourselves or any woman facing such challenges as we navigate this world filled with undue pressures.

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I help high-achieving women today who have not yet dealt with that aspect and become more mindful when caught in a cycle of overthinking. At first, it might be hard for you to notice until you already feel overwhelmed. But with time and practice, you'll begin to recognize these patterns earlier and earlier. That's when you can tap into your toolkit of strategies to shift thoughts gently. These strategies can include [specific strategy].

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One practical approach is to ground yourself in the present moment and distance yourself from future anxieties. Simple mindfulness techniques can be beneficial, like focused breathing or paying attention to one sense at a time.

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These practices teach you to acknowledge harmful thoughts without giving those thoughts power or energy—essentially, not believing in their negative chatter. This recognition is a powerful tool in your journey to overcome negative self-talk.

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Additionally, I help high-achieving women cultivate self-compassion and adopt positive mantras that reshape their internal dialogue. These practices are not just about being kind to yourself but about changing how you think about yourself and your abilities. They can be powerful tools for overcoming negative self-talk.

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Take my client, for example, as an inspiring example. She was the first woman to make over a million dollars in her industry and the first-generation leader to climb such hurdles. In high school, she saw an article featuring a woman artist—a young artist pouring pain with mixed mediums over canvas—and it struck her that women can be artists in her culture, too.

Overcoming that initial self-doubt about being an artist opened doors for her remarkable achievements. Similarly, we can learn from women in various fields who have overcome their negative self-talk to achieve great things.

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As a shy introvert, she often struggled to express her thoughts and opinions. But everything changed when she realized the issues deeply troubling her would find their way into her work. "I have always used my work as a forum to address many things I can't say or articulate," she shared. Through this self-discovery, she overcame her limiting beliefs and found her voice and artistic flair.

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Negative self-talk can also stem from our challenging experiences and the harmful decisions we make about ourselves in response. For instance, a little girl who felt excluded from her friend group might conclude she's not good enough, cool enough, or even weird or annoying. This could have carried through in your adult life.

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These damaging thoughts often solidify into beliefs that erode self-confidence and influence behaviour. That's why I help women. While they may not control what happens to them, they have power over how they respond to and interpret those events.

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Her journey is an inspiring example; with a mentor's guidance, She was able to rethink her perceptions and choices, highlighting the crucial role of mentors in this personal journey.

See you in the following newsletter!

Rachelle

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