Negative, is not negative!

As a child I was taught “This is good”… “This is bad”… So from an early age a repertoire of what is good and what is bad got built in my mind. This causes me to behave in fixed, predictable ways often to my detriment. I resist change and hesitate to experiment with anything new.

A day came when I saw the price that I was paying for this way of being. A friend was in hospital. In my anxiousness, I criticized and kept finding fault with the doctors, nurses, food, hospital policies, elevator and attendants. The more I found fault with them, the more of it I witnessed. I felt a dead lock within.

In that moment I received an insight, “You are all from the same source. Declare truce.” It was difficult, but I decided to attempt it. In my mind, I began to declare truce with all that I was fighting with. And there was lots to let go of. I observed that as I let go, the situation around me began to change. The doctors became more cooperative, the nurses and attendants more alert to our needs and help began to come from several sources.

How did it all change? They were the same doctors, nurses and attendants. A realization dawned on me that day. My perceptions had caused the problems. There was nothing out there, except for the perceptions created by my hallucinating mind.

The incident brought to mind a book I had read a long time ago by a French philosopher Jean Paul Satre. There is something inspiring about his style of writing. A key takeaway at that time was his reference to negative. He used an example that had to do with photography. He said a negative is needed to make a positive (photograph). He referred to this negative as “negatif” in French and “negated” in English. To him negative is not bad. It only negates that the whole is not yet whole.

In another section of the book he goes to further explain that when we see a raw apple on the tree, we say that it is raw. We do not call it a bad apple. In the same token, why do we not look at ourselves as raw and in the process of ripening? Instead we belittle ourselves, make ourselves wrong and indulge in fear, anger, jealousy and frustration.

I realized that these emotions are evolutionary in nature and act as feedback. They tell me the area in which I need to build my awareness to ripen into a better person. 

Things seemed to fall into place. Bad is a perception. Instead of terming something as bad and shielding myself against it, I learned to send vibrations of love and gratitude to appreciate their contribution to my awareness.