Neemy Days...

Kayal’s mind drifted to her childhood. She remembered the days when her mother would crush fresh, tender neem leaves and make her drink a tumbler of neem juice. However, when she found out that the neem juice that she drank for a number of days left her sterile and she lost the chance of becoming a mother, her heart shattered to pieces.

The medical report showed minimum instances of success on Sidharth’s part. Most of the sperm turned out to be immotile and he may require being on prolonged medication to get it rectified. Sidharth not much inclined on this refused bluntly.

“What is the big deal if we don’t have kids?” Sidharth scowled. Tears rolled down on her smooth cheeks. Kayal suppressed chokes inside her ribs. She could feel the pain in her heart. Sidharth defiantly refused to take the prescribed drugs.

“Why don’t you go for artificial insemination?” Sidharth questioned.

Kayal did not reply to him immediately. The gynecologist also asked the same question. However, I hit her with a different shade.

“How dare he could ask me such a question?” Kayal blinked her tears away.

For a girl becoming a mother is always a cherishing experience. Though Sidharth seemed to be broad-minded to allow her to go in for artificial insemination, Kayal could not take a decision. Why should getting pregnant become the only choice to get accepted in society? It affected women emotionally also.

If she gets pregnant with a baby from a mutually fulfilling sexual experience, the woman is blessed. Throughout the 280 days or 40 weeks, she must be willing to nurture her baby from day one in her womb. The physical, and emotional bond that connects the baby with her is the bliss every woman would love to have.

Kayal could not think out of the box and accept Sidharth’s choice. He may be practical in making such a decision. At the same time, he must think about how it may affect Kayal or how far she is ready to cope with the pressure through those weeks till the baby is born.

“I don’t mind if this clicks.” Sidharth walked away without expecting a reply from Kayal.

“You mean fellow! Do you know how much pain a girl needs to go through? Do you know how the prescribed drugs acted on the intricate hormones?”

Kayal belonged to this century. She lived in an age where technology opened all the closed doors. Think about the days before the 80s, when women suffered silently and society looked at them with scorn for they did not get pregnant within a year of marriage. Society has been broadminded enough to accept the ways of new technology that helped women to enjoy the bliss of women.

Kayal sat down to eat her lunch at a corner in the dining hall. She always came down to lunch after two pm. Kayal preferred to eat her lunch alone. Halfway through her lunch, she suddenly remembered whatever that happened the day before. She could understand the circumstances that helped her develop a new relationship.

Knowingly or unknowingly, she started to relish the growing bond between her and Kathir. Kathir had touched the unknown realms of her heart that yearned desperately for a patient listener who would allocate some time for her.

Sidharth did not respond to her in times of need and she started to feel lonely at home. The loving home turned into a place where they stayed together and spent their time together.

“Hi, May I join you?” Cindy stood with her usual cheerful smile.

“Sure. Where have you been all these days?” Kayal moved to give way for her to sit near.

“I have been to my mom’s place.” Cindy opened her lunch pack and served her a few spoons.

“Oh. Anything special!”

“Nothing special. But I have something to share with you.”

Cindy started to narrate her ordeal of going through umpteen numbers of tests to rule out her fertility and how her husband insisted she go to her mom and get cleared of all blocks.

“It is such a painful thing than getting f….” Cindy’s expression turned wild.

Who made the rule here that only women are destined to go through all the pain? When a woman is ready to go to the extreme level to get pregnant in the name of getting a baby, why god has not made things easier for her?

Society blamed the women for not getting a child and it protected men by not disclosing their unwillingness or accepting they were the reason for that.

Fertility and infertile were the two words that zoomed into a peaceful married life and dragged each other to an end extending the limit of pain at every level.

“Better to be like this. Don’t waste money and don’t get into this painful business. I think it is enough for me. I would not mind walking away from my family if they insisted I go through this hell once again.” Kayal listened to Cindy with her eyes wide.