Need To Understand: "No"? Means "No"?

Need To Understand: "No" Means "No"

Saying No is defined as disagreeing or not to accept something. Most people feel constrained to consent to every request, and would preferably juggle a million occupations than decline to help, regardless of whether they are left with no time for themselves. Therefore, learning how to say no can earn you some respect from yourself and people around you.

Strangely, the capacity to say no is firmly connected to fearlessness. Individuals with low self-assurance and confidence regularly feel anxious about irritating others and tend to rate others’ needs more exceptionally than their own.

Manners are important.

We attempt to be kind and gentle in friendships and acquaintances, but somewhere women went wrong. Somewhere, "No" stopped meaning "No."

It began to mean that we were rude. "No" began to mean we were angry and abrupt. "No" began to mean that we were shallow and overly prudent.

"No" began to mean that we were wrong.

Why am I made to feel guilty for turning down the affections of someone I do not have feelings for?

Am I not allowed to have an opinion?

Am I not allowed to choose who I care for without losing the good graces of those around me?

What a dangerous notion, to make "No" mean anything other than what it is meant to be. Because we are kind and gentle in our turning down unwanted affection, we have been told that we are "leading men on," "not being clear," "making trouble," and the worst of all: "asking for it." Women who are assaulted, raped, or abused in any form or fashion are told that they are to blame because they were "unclear" regarding their feelings or that they were "creating trouble."

What does “NO “mean to you?

No is the other half of the binary combination of yes/no. It is a version or the digital “either/or” or 0/1. It is or it is not. It can relate to a state of matter, electric charge, ion capacity, or many other states of matter. It is not subjective, ultimately; the most objective of states. When my cat wants treats, but it isn’t time for them, I tell him no and he understands that he must wait for a future time when he will get his treats.

Simply that, NO.

When I hear that, I generally say “OK” and walk away.

Sometimes, the other person comes running after me with “wait, what I meant was

…”. After we’ve re-established proper communications, we’ll continue with…whatever.

Thus far, no one has ever asked me, “Why didn’t you ask again?” I suspect they already knew what my answer would be…

You said no, so I wasn’t gonna waste my time.

No can be used in different structures to mean not any, the opposite of, not at all, to no extent, or to give a negative response.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensue discussion or debate.

Thank you …If you didn’t have negative words like no in the language, there would be no way to express difference. We have money. We have no money. He has talent. He has no talent. I have an idea. I have no idea. These sentences convey opposite meanings.

Do you want to eat? Yes or no? It’s important to have a choice, don’t you think?

I find it hard to believe anyone is unfamiliar with the concept of negation in language. One of the first things babies and young children learn is “no,” because it warns them not to stick their hand in the fire, not to drink gasoline, not to run in front of an oncoming bus, etc.

If you are offering or asking someone for something (food, drink, money, etc), and they reply with “no”, then it means they do not wish to give or receive what you are offering or asking for. Do not persist. No means no. Persisting after they have told you no is just rude and extremely annoying.

What's even more rude is not listening and taking/giving what you are asking for or offering. In some cases this can get you into serious trouble, especially when you're taking something that isn't yours.

So when someone says no, leave it at that and move on. People will respect you for that.

Unless of course, the thing you are asking for is yours and you want it back. In that case, no is the wrong answer and you have every right to persist until they give it back.

Want to add word or two? 

No basically means I cannot answer this question. No pun intended . Nothing implied!

No is a coined verbal expression to indicate a negative state as opposed to the presence of any substance.

No gas, no reason, no sight etc

Your comment ….?  

Children aren't born with social skills -- its human nature for them to start out with a survival-of-the-fittest mentality. That's why you need to teach your toddler how to act appropriately and safely -- when you're around and when you're not. In a nutshell, your job is to implant a "good citizen" memory chip in her brain (Freud called this the superego) that will remind her how she's supposed to behave.

It's a bit like breaking a wild horse, but you won't break your child's spirit if you do it correctly. The seeds of discipline that you plant now will blossom later, and you'll be very thankful for the fruits of you labour (Just don't expect a tree to grow overnight.)

If you say no 20 times a day, it will lose its effectiveness. Prioritize behaviours into large, medium, and those too insignificant to bother with.

In Starbucks terms, there are Venti, Grande, and Tall toddler screw-ups. If you ignore a minor infraction -- your toddler screams whenever you check your e-mail -- she'll eventually stop doing it because she'll see that it doesn't get a rise out of you.

Always say that a particular behaviour is bad. Never tell your child that she is bad. You want her to know that you love her but you don't love the way she's acting right now.

This will make her feel as if she's got a vote. Just make sure you don't offer too many options and that they're all things that you want to accomplish, such as, "It's your choice: You can put your shoes on first, or your coat."

Let today mark a new beginning for you. Give yourself permission to say NO without feeling guilty, mean, or selfish.

Anybody who gets upset or expects you to say yes all of the time clearly doesn’t have your best interest at heart.

Always remember: You have a right to say no without having to explain yourself.

Half of your troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.

Be at peace with your decisions.

Dayal Ram

Managing Director at DAYALIZE

5 年

Women give mixed signals a lot; If a woman is known to be shy, we might think she could like us even when rejecting us; We know she had feelings for us but we took too long to ask her and she could reject us simply because She considers us wimps when we were just aloof; We might believe we came too strong and scared her away; She could simply be upset for whatever reason and that 'NO' is simply an emotional reaction to that. Women don't even know what they really want a lot of the time. I bet even some women will agree with me on that.

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Vandana Thangavel

Associate Professor. Masters in Psychology and Mental health.

5 年

Sometimes wen we say No for anything the reply comes as" Kyo" ha ha ha ha

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