The need to pay attention to your psychological wellbeing.

"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." –Carl Jung

When traumatic patterns are all you've ever known, you'd think that's your authenticity–that it is who you are.

Until you're aware of better alternatives to what you're familiar with, you'd believe what you've always known is the best there is.

Many people are unhappy. And totally confused.

They move from one emotional issue to the other but never really able to pinpoint what the actual underlying cause is. They blame everyone and everything in their state of helplessness. They'd project, rationalize and, if they are quite educated, intellectualize the issue.

Yet the emotional issues persist.

Until you're aware of how much your childhood abandonment issues have affected you, you won't realize how seriously you should take your psychological wellbeing. Because this affects everything you're involved in, especially the more intimate stuff.

Take for instance, the habit of people-pleasing.

Some people find it difficult to say No to others no matter what it is. Even as short as a NO is to say. For those who know them, it could be sometimes irritating to hear them complain of stress from always accepting to do any requests from people yet never able to say a no the next time.

You can criticize them all you can as an observer. Until you understand the way their subconscious programming works, you won't get it.

For most of these kinds of people, it was something they had learned as a child with caregivers who didn't really show them consistent love and acceptance without always condemning them for their being.

To get the love of their caregivers, they'd work very hard for their acceptance and validation.?To a child, his caregiver is like an idol to him.?The thoughts of not being loved or accepted by his caregiver would be a torment. So he'd go on to lose his own self in order to do anything to win their love.

Then he grows up believing this about the world: that he must always please the world in all things in order to be loved and accepted.?Though now an adult, he's unaware that he's no longer that child.?Because his subconscious mind keeps reenacting the child-caregiver scenario already imprinted in him.

It's now a program that runs on its own rather unconsciously. Without him thinking much about his responses when a similar scenario shows up as it was in childhood.

He now has a people-pleasing programme running as part of his belief system. Just like a software in a computer; this has been hardwired in his brain as a way of life for him.

The way most adults are mainly living subconsciously from patterns developed in childhood. Though unaware.

The average human lives his life 95% of the time rather unconsciously. We're only reenacting most of what we've imitated as children.

You'll likely deny that you don't live life this way. That this is only one of those scientific jargons. Until you sit with yourself and truly observe the decisions you're making daily.

Why am I saying this??If you're not aware you need freedom, you'd assume you're free.

As a therapist, I've worked with individuals to see childhood patterns continue to affect the adults they've become as if they were still that child many years ago.

Healing is awareness. Becoming aware that you need help is when you'd have the audacity to ask for help.

This is part of the reasons I've written my latest book, "healing pathways: empowering paths to your healing."?To create awareness of your need for psychological wellbeing. And to show you the way to achieve it.

You can get your copies here:

Download e-book here?

You can get the paperback in UK here: Amazon UK

If you're resident in the US, please order your paperback copy here: Amazon US

For other countries on amazon, kindly search for the book, "healing pathways: empowering paths to your healing"

You can get your hard copies in Nigeria by sending a to?[email protected]?or chat us up on WhatsApp

Cheers to your wellness.

Joy Iseki?

-Trauma Recovery Therapist/Wellbeing Coach