The Need for Energetic Alignment in Community Building

Why Traditional Models of Connection No Longer Work

One of the best byproducts of my work is that as a book publisher, I get to have conversations with thought leaders who are shaping global conversations. Across industries, disciplines, and movements, a common theme keeps emerging: the way we’ve been defining community is no longer serving us.

For years, we’ve relied on traditional ways of building community—groups based on demographics, shared interests, or political values. And for a long time, that seemed to work. But something is shifting.

So many of us have experienced it—we enter a space that, on paper, should feel like home. Maybe it’s a professional group, an industry gathering, or even a social circle filled with people who share similar backgrounds, identities, or values. But instead of connection, we feel… off.

Because community isn’t just about commonality—it’s about energetic alignment.

When “Your People” Aren’t Your People

We’ve been conditioned to believe that if we share a common identity, cause, or profession, we should automatically feel a sense of belonging. But more and more, people are realizing that shared interests don’t always translate to shared energy.

This is why some spaces that should feel welcoming end up feeling draining. It’s why we sometimes walk into a room of “like-minded” individuals and still feel like outsiders. It’s not about who’s in the room—it’s about the energy the room holds.

Energetic alignment means finding people who:

• Match your rhythm—not just your resume.
• Challenge you in ways that feel expansive, not exhausting.
• Share not just your interests, but your intentions.

And yet, most of our community-building efforts don’t take this into account.

Rethinking How We Build Connection

If we accept that traditional community structures don’t always work, then we have to rethink how we create spaces where people can truly thrive.

So how do we help people find their energetic community—not just their demographic one?

1. Pay attention to how spaces make you feel.

Instead of asking, Do I belong here? try asking, Does this space nourish me? If you leave every conversation feeling drained instead of energized, it might not be the right fit—no matter how aligned it looks on paper.

2. Curate for resonance, not just representation.

Representation matters, but it’s only part of the equation. The real magic happens when we build spaces that prioritize shared energy, mutual respect, and collective growth.

3. Make room for evolution.

The communities that once felt right might not always fit as you grow—and that’s okay. We need to normalize the idea that evolving out of a space isn’t failure; it’s alignment.

4. Build with intention, not obligation.

So many communities form out of necessity or tradition, but what if we were more intentional about the energy we cultivate? The best communities don’t just gather people—they energize them.

Where Do We Go from Here?

In a world where traditional community structures are becoming less effective, the question isn’t just where do I fit?—it’s where does my energy thrive?

If you’ve been searching for community and haven’t found it in the usual places, you’re not alone. Maybe it’s not about searching harder—maybe it’s about redefining what you’re looking for.

So instead of asking, Who are my people? try asking:

• Where does my energy feel most alive?
• Who are the people that expand, not deplete, my sense of purpose?
• What spaces challenge me in ways that feel invigorating rather than exhausting?

The world is shifting. Our communities should shift with it.

Let’s start building spaces that don’t just look right—but feel right.