The Need to Belong
Today's LinkedIn Love Letter is all about our deepest needs. One of them is being safe. It comes back to ancient times - leaving the pack would threaten your survival. In other words, we need to belong to a pack, a tribe, to keep each other safe.
Under "normal" circumstances (let's not get into defining normal at this stage), we are all born into a pack. Yet, it is when things don't work out to be so "normal" - a parent decides not to be part of the experience - or divorce, death, disasters, or any drama happens that leaves you without a healthy, nurturing family - your need to belong might alter your behaviour, just to feel loved, to be accepted into a pack.
The other day I wrote about "People Pleasing is a Trauma Response ". Which pretty much goes hand in hand with what I'm musing about today.
We need safety for survival.
But safety is not enough.
Survival is not enough.
We need Love to live a quality life.
Genuine Love.
Trauma can leave us longing for Love.
Longing to belong.
A close friend once said "you just need to belong to yourself first" - I felt misunderstood. This isn't about "belonging to oneself", I don't believe this works like that. This would rather be another important topic: SelfLove.
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It is more about acceptance - being accepted into a group, a tribe - yes, that starts with accepting yourself. Belonging, however, requires at least one more person. It's about supporting each other, keeping each other safe, nurturing each other - all of that means being part of a tribe.
I dare say we all need community.
I also dare say, if anyone claims "I don't need anyone, I prefer my own company", it is usually for either of these two reasons:
And if you are in neither of these categories, and/or disagree with me, I truly want to hear from you.
I am curious.
Do share.
With Love
Marie x
PS: If your tribe needs support or healing, let's chat . I offer workshops to help create Thriving Teams in Tough Times . And I also offer Family Bereavement Sessions .