Nearly half of mothers work, take a break, and work again. Why is there still such a stigma?

This is Working Together, a weekly series and live show at 12pm ET on Wednesday on the changing face of U.S. business. This week, we’re going deep into a recent survey I worked on to get a better sense of how companies can better support working mothers. I went live with Netflix director of inclusion Michelle P. King to discuss the survey and you can check it out here. Let’s dive right in.?

More than 70% of mothers are a part of the U.S. workforce, and they are struggling.?

A majority of men and women say that unnecessary obstacles make it challenging for these moms to advance in their careers, according to a new survey of 3,000 working parents conducted by LinkedIn and Censuswide.

Almost half of working moms take an extended break — time off from work beyond the maternity leave allowance — after the birth of their children. The average break is about two years.?

Even though such breaks are common, working mothers face significant challenges when they’re trying to re-enter the workforce and when they’re back at work. Making matters more complicated, many working mothers say they hide the fact that they have kids at home out of fear that acknowledging the commitment will negatively affect their careers.?

We asked members on LinkedIn to weigh in with their thoughts. Hundreds responded.?

“We are conditioned to hide anything that may deem us less than 100% committed to work,” Colleen Curtis, head of communications at The Mom Project, wrote on LinkedIn. “The stigma extends beyond parenting and into ‘anything in life that may interfere with perceived total devotion to work.’”?

We want to hear from you: How has your experience as a working parent shaped your career? Post on LinkedIn or in the article below using #WorkingTogether.?

Here are the key results from our survey:?

For women, taking a career break is rarely a “choice”

When we talk about mothers taking career breaks, we often refer to it as a “choice.” But 57% of all working mothers we surveyed said they didn’t feel they had much choice in the matter. Finances were a top factor that prevented moms from taking a break, even if they wanted one. On the flip side, more than one-third of mothers we surveyed took a break because it was more cost-effective to stay home than pay for childcare.?

Beyond finances, the main reason working parents don’t take time off, even though they might want to, is out of fear for the professional consequences of such a move. Some 35% of working parents who did not take a career break but would have liked to cited a fear of losing their job. Another 15% said they worried they would not advance professionally if they took time off.?

When on break, the fear is constant

For working mothers who choose to take a break, they most fear that their skills will grow rusty and that they won’t be able to manage the responsibilities of home life and work successfully. According to mothers who have returned to work after a career break, 44% say the hardest part was juggling parental duties, like sick children and childcare, with tasks at work. Only 27% of men who return feel the same way.??

“We have put entirely too much pressure on working mothers to be thinking about what is next,” CEO of Service to School Christine Schwartz wrote on LinkedIn. “The fact that we have to be constantly ‘upscaling’ and ‘networking’ while ‘taking time off’...to raise young kids is utterly exhausting and takes away from the idea that our past work experience will bear any weight on future employment.”

Many stay plugged in while off

Some 63% of working mothers who took a career break or are currently on one say that they did it to spend more time with their children. Yet 54% of mothers who have returned from a break say they engaged in work-related activities while on leave. This included enrolling online courses, keeping up with their professional network and, in some cases, taking on part-time work.

“Many companies will ask employees on parental leave to check in once or twice during leave as a means to be updated on projects pertaining to their work or to ramp back into work slowly as their re-entry date approaches,” said Ellevate Network CEO Kristy Wallace?“This should be optional for employees but, I believe, the intent is to help ease the stress of workplace re-entry after a leave.”?

Going back to work after a break is much harder than it needs to be.?

For many working parents, the fears appear to be warranted: More than a third of working mothers who are back at work after a career break agree that they struggled to get hired after their break and 61% say that it was challenging to re-enter the workforce.?

Despite the prevalent challenges, more than half of working parents who have returned to the same employer after a break say they were offered no resources to aid their re-entry.

Many consider not returning at all.?

Nearly half of working women with children say they considered a career pivot versus returning to their old job. The main reason? They wanted more flexible hours.?Salary also plays a part in this decision. Working parents who make more money are more likely to consider a pivot.?

"I make it clear to my team that my family comes first both in how I prioritize and how I support them," said Facebook Agency Manager Barbara FitzPatrick on LinkedIn. "I have not always been in such organizations, and have previously had to advocate to leave 'early' at 5pm to meet daycare pickup, all while carrying guilt."

The stigma is real.?

Some 52% of women we surveyed feel concerned or very concerned about being judged for taking leave or asking for flexible hours. The same share told us that they feel mothers who return to work after a break are not taken as seriously as their peers.?

“New parents, mothers especially, are judged both for leaving on time and staying late,” Mary Beth Ferrante, the co-founder of a training and development platform designed to retain and attract working parents, shared on LinkedIn. “Ending #secretparenting is a critical component for organizations that are creating/have established family-friendly work cultures.”?

How do we improve the situation? Leaders speaking out is key.?

Of course, working parents cited scheduling flexibility and affordable childcare as top solutions to their struggles. But nearly one-third of working moms told us that having executives speak out on their behalf could make a huge difference to them. Working parents who feel like they can talk with their team about their family obligations were much more likely to feel supported at work.?

Toby Pray, a solutions development manager at UPS, shared that as a single father, he talked about his children at work about three to four times a month, if not more.?

“If you truly want to lead by example, then you must be transparent about subjects like this,” said Pray.?