The (N)eanderthal (O)wners: Part Two

by Stephen W. Ayers

In Part One I described the general attributes of these ignorant owners, the way they behave and act.

In this article I will try and analyse how they go about efficiently destroying any attempts by their own management to improve operations and thereby of course the profits. 

Firstly, the biggest mistake by far made by the NO’s is that they believe that they are already Homo Sapiens, but without the development stage. This means that they firmly believe that they are knowledgeable, can make wise decisions and really do not need any experienced assistance in making decisions that impact operations.

Let me try and describe some of the NO’s actions to describe the statement above.

As we all know, Neanderthals were hunter gatherers. For this our Neanderthal needed weapons with which to hunt and kill his prey. To do this he tries to make them himself since that would, correctly, be the cheapest way. In Part One we already decided that the NO always looks for the cheapest alternative, not necessarily the best quality for the best price.

Realizing that he is totally inept at making his own weapons he goes out to source the cheapest alternative.

He goes from Neanderthal weapon maker to Neanderthal weapon maker but they all quote prices that he does not like, as they involve paying good money for good products.

Finally he finds someone that will satisfy his wallet. He does not discuss the materials to be used but goes back to his cave satisfied that he ‘won’, that he got the products he needed for the price he wanted to pay.

Finally setting off on a hunt with his new arsenal, he quickly finds out that his arrowheads are made of wood and not effective, that his club is too heavy to carry around, let alone run with. He is totally alone in the bush, since he, the one and only NO, does not need any assistance. He returns home angry and proceeds to take out his anger on his family, those he is supposed to respect as his trusted support team.

As he sits by his fire, hungry and irritated, he hears the happy noises of his neighbours sitting and enjoying feasts in their caves. In anger at this, he clubs his wife over the head with his new club and drags her by the hair to the straw bed.

Now let’s see how his neighbours acted that gave them the well deserved feats that they enjoyed.

Firstly, they realized that despite being limited in brains, they needed to act as a team to more successfully hunt and catch their food. They also decided early on that each one would contribute to the team with his special ability, whether it be making arrowheads, clubs, picking up kill scents, being fleet of foot or other ability.

Their prey stands no chance. They have laid out the plans for a successful kill, they have prepared the weapons they need, they have the right quality and the right amount of team members to successfully conclude a hunt campaign.

These Neanderthals have progressed towards being Homo Sapiens, while our poor NO is left behind to become increasingly frustrated, angry and isolated. Becoming paranoid, he becomes desperate in his search for success and makes mistakes, firing his arrows from the hip with no aim at all.

Having made the distinctions above, let’s transfer this to the industry we love and that the NO’s are busy taking apart both from the professional and enjoyment perspectives.

As illustrated above, the ‘modern and progressive’ Neanderthals succeeded because they recognized that each one could contribute to the team to make their grand aims (budgets) achievable. Of course they ‘elected’ a ‘chief’ or group manager to organize and mold a good team that had the best chance of attaining their combined goal which was to satisfy their collective families hunger. Each one in the group was happy to participate since they were specialists in the tasks allotted to them. This is similar to the various specialized professions within our industry, whether it be food and beverage, housekeeping, accounting…...you get my drift.

They make sure that their planning will be a great road map to eventual success in hunting and bringing home the ‘bacon’. Their end result is food, or ‘profitability’, but they work diligently to achieve that by following their plan in every aspect.

The poor NO eventually start to feel the pains of hunger, and does not understand why he has not succeeded.He still believes that one ‘genius’ (himself) is worth more than the others who have a team. He is on a downhill course, and blames all the other cave dweller neighbours for his own shortcomings. He still does not understand that he is wrong…..that possibility never entered his mind. He is ALWAYS right, he is the NO!

And so, while the ‘progressive’ Neanderthals, well on the way to becoming Homo Sapiens, work together in many other ways to improve their caves, the ‘real estate worth’ of their caves, and their collective lives, our NO sits alone in a cold and damp cave, his team have deserted him.

Not only does the team thrive as a group and achieve their ‘budgeted’ plans, they are also improving their lives in so many areas, but they become much more efficient as they learn from their mistakes. They are well on their way to transitioning from Neanderthals to Homo Sapiens.

Our NO, the Neanderthal Owner, sits bitter and confused as to how a genius such as him has been overtaken by a bunch of dumb neighbors working tgether.

He still refuses to admit his mistakes, to learn from others or take experienced advice. He sits mired in his cave, and contemplates who he can take down with him when he fails. 

We all thought that Neanderthalers were extinct, right? 

No, we’re all wrong, the NO’s are back in a big way, and threatening not only their success but also the enjoyment and success in our hospitality lives.