Neanderthal Man

Friday 5th July 2.55pm

Every electronic clock in my house flashes 00:00. When the ticket office is closed, I roll up my sleeves and start force feeding the machine with my credit cards, as it turns out the wrong way around. I left in a hurry so am devoid of my laptop and pad, both together, in the bag by the door and their disappointment.

I have nothing to write on except my phone, so it is showtime for my opposable thumbs.

I work in technology, not so much development, I am at what I like to call the jigsaw stage of coding. It is my job to explain technology to those whose clocks tell perfect time. I talk about global trends, economic outlook and competitive advantage. I am at the stage of looking for all the pieces with a straight edge.

Do not be concerned dear reader as I have a Superpower. I know everything there is to know about not knowing. My knowledge is best described as a mile wide and an inch deep. In my defence the inch is solid, the snowflake on the top of the bit of the iceberg above the water. For mine is the joy of absolute certainty that there is always someone who knows more than me and the person I am speaking to.

Learn something, teach something. Engage, people can’t help like those who are fascinated by what they say. 

Saturday 6thJuly 11.29am

My thumbs can now take a rest, my index fingers able to resume their high-speed search and peck. My comfort level with technology makes a good comparison to my inch-deep ability for pretty much any other subject. The life advice I had from my daughter when discussing my skill in another area springs to mind – you have tried everything except patience. 

Jared Diamond was on the radio recently, he speaks about 14 languages, as well as many other significant achievements. In light of my admission and with Mr Diamond representing the other end on the spectrum I find myself scrabbling around for a defence. Comfortable in my own skin is all I’ve got!

For a long time, I had two pictures on my wall, Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso. Both in later life, one looking a bit sad, and the other very relaxed. A regular flight of fancy would be to consider my preference. Obviously the easy one appealed. At some level one mind takes everything very seriously and the other, nothing.

A choice not available to me, no use crying over spilt milk. I could’ve been a milkman if I was given a generous spillage allowance. That is part of the comfortable in my own skin defence, I may not reach the end of a spectrum but there is an in-built belief that the only limiting factor is the road not chosen. 

Martyn Richards works for Wishful Thinking Fundamentals Ltd and is Sales Mentor to a range of technology clients. He is also a bit of a Neanderthal.