Navigating the Workplace after Loss: My Personal Story

Dear Giving Grief a Voice community,

Loss transforms our lives in ways beyond comprehension, and addressing its impact on our professional spaces is often overlooked. Today, I'm sharing my personal experience of returning to work under the shadow of grief after losing my husband.

After taking a three-month leave, stepping back into my office was an avalanche of emotions. Despite my familiarity with the environment, I felt like a newcomer. My co-workers’ smiles showed relief at having me back, but their uneasiness was hard to miss. ?They struggled with interacting with me, for my loss was now an inseparable part of my identity. My once-bustling workspace was now a quiet reflection of the loneliness I experienced.

My office became a sanctuary, providing solace but engulfed at times with stark loneliness. Ordinary routines became daunting tasks. The start of each day brought a new challenge - finding normalcy amidst profound pain.

The struggle wasn't solely mine – my colleagues were battling their own discomfort. The well-intended avoidance of my office was their way of trying to shield me, fearing that unintentional words might trigger my tears.

But amidst this struggle, there's one colleague’s courage that stands out. She pushed past her fears and offered her support and compassion - helping in small ways and joining me in awkward silences. Her actions were like a beacon, encouraging me to navigate through working life while carrying my grief - a testament to how meaningful support can be in reshaping our workplaces.

It's important to remember that grief is normal and should not be avoided or masked but instead be embraced with compassion, courage and patience. Returning to work after loss is not a validation of a completely healed heart but a testament to the courage of someone still trying to find their way after experiencing an event that completely altered their life in a way that sometimes can’t be explained.

Let’s not shy away from sympathy or fear the pain. Instead, let's openly share our stories and learn how to adapt, grow, and heal together. As we walk this path, let's create workspaces where everyone feels safe and supported when wrestling with personal loss.

If you are faced with the challenges of returning to work after loss, remember that it’s okay for others to see your pain. It is a testament to the bond you shared with your loved one, a love that forever changed you. Your courage to step into your vulnerability will give others permission to step into theirs.

Sending Warm Thoughts,

Darlene