"Navigating the Unknown"

Lately as a coach I’m witnessing clients in a collective “pause and wait” mode. Whether they are anticipating layoffs, choosing their next role or company or waiting to secure funding, so many in the business world are experiencing dread and discomfort in the unknown.?

In moments like these, many leaders and teams become reactive and reach for old survival strategies. They want answers and blame others or themselves when they can’t get them. They find themselves in an “us vs them” mindset. They suppress feelings like anger, sadness and fear. And they stop candidly communicating with one another believing it’s no longer “safe”. These strategies are not only ineffective, they are exhausting. They leave leaders feeling drained, closed off and alone, with little energy to muster resilience or optimism for the future.

At a recent team retreat with The Conscious Leadership Group my colleague Jack Craven brought up the topic of awe, specifically around Dacher Keltner’s new book “Awe - The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How it Can Transform Your Life.” In the book, Keltner defines awe as “the emotion we experience when we encounter vast mysteries that we don’t understand.” As I reflected on this definition, I found myself wondering about the difference between “vast mysteries” and the collective unknown we're facing right now. Are they two sides of the same coin? And if so, could there be a different way to react when faced with the unknown? According to Keltner, there is. Keltner points to the transformative power of awe as a way of getting outside of ourselves and integrating with bigger patterns, ideas, communal and cultural forms that enable our very survival. Keltner says “vastness can be challenging, unsettling and destabilizing. In evoking awe, it reveals that our current knowledge is not up to the task of making sense of what we have encountered. And so, in awe we go in search of new forms of understanding.” Given the upsides of awe, this left me with another question - when faced with the mystery of the unknown, why do we reach for fear rather than feelings like wonder and awe??

It makes sense that as humans, when change happens there is a healthy dose of negativity bias that has us focused on one polarity of the unknown - disruption, destabilization, loss or the anticipation of loss.? But we spend very little time in the awe evoking high side of the unknown, which can look like surprise, inspiration, innovation. As Keltner mentioned, experiencing awe when we face the unknown can actually lead us to search for new forms of understanding. So what causes us to opt for strategies that?shut us down in fear rather than open us up with wonder? In Conscious Leadership, we often talk about the ego being hardwired to perceive threat which causes human beings to drop below the line as a survival mechanism. We ALL get scared when we perceive a loss of control and biologically constrict in response. Keltner also talks about the notion of a default self, a sense of self (amplified by a culture of individualism and materialism) that focuses on the individual over the collective. He says when the “default self reigns too strongly…anxiety, rumination, depression and self criticism can overtake us. An overactive default self can undermine the collaborative efforts and goodwill of our community.” Keltner explains that in contrast, when we experience moments of awe it can “orients us to devote ourselves to things outside our individual selves. Our individual self gives way to the boundary dissolving sense of being something much larger. Awe enables us to see the systems underlying the wonders of life and locate ourselves in relation to them. In awe we understand we are part of many things that are much larger than the self.”?

So in these increasingly lonely and disconnected times, how might we reframe our experience of the unknown in order to balance fear with more awe??

Last month I visited artist James Turrell’s awe-inspiring exhibit “Backside of the Moon” in Naoshima, Japan. Ushers take your devices as you walk through a narrow corridor in pitch black darkness, blindly groping the walls to find a seat. Deprived of sight, a cloud of anxiety settles over you as you wait. Minutes slowly pass and only darkness remains. An invisible announcer says to wait and be patient. Visitors begin to cough in nervous anticipation. And just as you imagine breaking out to have a panic attack, a blue glow begins to emanate from across the room. The light grows brighter and brighter until an entire wall is glowing, and then moments later, half the room glows smoky blue. With sight restored you feel relief and immediately begin to explore the room, marveling at the beautiful blue vastness with your fellow travelers. You feel expansive, and then deeply curious around what the exhibit is asking you to consider. And in that moment the announcer tells you the light has been on the entire time - your eyes just needed five minutes to recalibrate to darkness to be able to see it.? I still marvel at how the whole experience transformed fear into awe in a matter of minutes.?

This experience got me thinking about the power of awe. What if instead of reaching for the panic button in dark times, we pause, recalibrate, and trust that life will unfold with intelligence, as it always has? If we intentionally choose awe, how might we feel more open, less alone and more expansive? ?One way to support this practice is to interrupt our natural fear based reactivity through reframing. At the Conscious Leadership Group a simple tool we use is the notion of allyship. While allies traditionally have a common cause or goal, in the world of Conscious Leadership the common cause is our individual learning or growth. Any person, circumstance can be your ally as long as they create pressure and catalyze learning you otherwise couldn’t experience without them. By this definition, if you are willing to experience the world as your ally, you will extract value from every conflict, hardship and moment of discomfort. Instead of fearing the unknown you may begin to welcome it, trusting from experience that every obstacle serves as a lesson, helping you rise into your fullest potential. When you commit to seeing all adversity and challenge as an ally, very much like the James Turrell “Backside of the Moon” exhibit, fear can turn into wonder, creating an opening for new forms of understanding emerge. If you are reading this and feel skeptical, just look back at any difficult moment in your life. Not only did you get through it - you likely emerged stronger, wiser, and richer in life experiences that led you exactly to where you are today.?

In the coming months, dear readers, I invite you to surrender to life’s vast mysteries. When you find yourself worried about what the future holds, take a moment to pause. Be willing to recalibrate to the darkness and experience the unknown as your ally. Allow yourself to marvel at life's great unfolding, and trust in the new and exciting possibilities that await you on the other side.??

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