A while back, I was promoted to a role managing two of my former peers. I’d been a people manager for many years, yet I’d never been confronted with this challenge. At the time, I didn’t get much advice from my boss or other colleagues, but I did hear many comments like “Whoa, that’s going to be tough”! One of these new direct reports resented me as a boss, while the other was gracious about the situation. As with many leadership dilemmas I faced over the years, I think I used common sense, EQ, and pragmatism to muddle through. As an executive coach many years later, I can provide some thoughts on the best way to manage a friend or peer.
- Acknowledge the Change: Open Communication:?Have an honest conversation with your former peers about the role change. Acknowledge that the transition might be awkward and express your commitment to maintaining a positive working relationship. Set Clear Boundaries:?Clearly define the new boundaries of your professional relationship. This is also good advice for brand-new people managers.
- Establish Authority with Respect: Lead by Example:?Demonstrate the behaviors and work ethic you expect from your team. This helps build respect and credibility. Be Consistent:?Apply rules and policies consistently to all team members, including your former peers. Avoid favoritism or being overly harsh when asserting authority. In the example I gave above, I had trouble establishing authority with one of my new directs, as I had a bit of Imposter Syndrome. Looking back, I wish I had had a coach at the time so we could role-play various scenarios for how I might have shown up more effectively.
- Build Trust and Credibility: Show Empathy:?Understand the perspectives and concerns of your former peers. Show empathy and be supportive as they adjust to your new role. Deliver on Promises:?Follow through on your commitments and be reliable. This helps build trust and shows that you are a dependable leader. I had to focus on my delivery—I was building credibility that I was worthy of the role (remember, I had some Imposter Syndrome!).
Managing former peers is a leadership rite of passage. Next week, I’ll share some additional tips. Please let me know in the comments if you have suggestions or anecdotes.
