Navigating Toxic Workplaces: Women in Leadership and the Battle Against Perceptions

Toxic workplaces aren’t just defined by aggressive environments or hostile colleagues, sometimes, the damage comes from subtler forces—deep-rooted perceptions and biases. Many women working in male-dominated fields or under leadership with outdated views of women’s roles often face these challenges. These issues affect their confidence, abilities, and work-life balance, and create environments that lack empathy and psychological safety.

While not all organizations are plagued by these issues, some corporate cultures still hold unconscious biases against women in leadership. For many women, these biases become glass ceilings, limiting their ability to grow or advance. Even worse, some women may begin to internalize these biases, which not only stunts their career progression, but also harms their self-perception. The combination of external barriers and internal doubts creates what I call glass ceiling habits—unspoken and invisible behaviors that reinforce the idea that a woman’s place in leadership is questionable.

A Real-World Example: Breaking Free from Old Perceptions

Recently, I worked with a client who found herself trapped by perceptions from her past. She grew up in a sales organization for over 5 years and found it difficult to rise above the image she had built years ago. Despite her current growth, the leadership team still viewed her as a junior leader, as if her career stagnated at the entry level of leadership. What made her case unique was that she had a strong male boss advocating for her—a flag carrier, so to speak. During her annual review, he recognized her achievements, gave her a massive raise, and offered a clear pathway to advance in the company versus leave. He pushed her to highlight and over-communicate her accomplishments and impact, encouraging her to own her contributions in team communications.

Even with this support, my client struggled with her thought patterns. Although her boss was on her side, past perceptions and negative comments from other leaders in the company weighed her down. Some still treated her as "the new girl," while others doubted her ability to lead at a higher level. She was told, “We took a chance on you years ago," as if she was still expected to prove herself despite her years of loyalty and success. From my vantage point as an external coach, this is a common experience for women who stay in tech organizations long-term—many of their contributions go unnoticed simply because leadership continues to see them through the same lens they did years ago.

So, how do you break through?

Tips for Women to Shift Perceptions and Break Through Glass Ceilings

1. Find Your Flag Carrier Having an advocate within your organization can be crucial. Whether it’s a direct boss or someone in the C-suite, find someone who will go to bat for you. These individuals are key to influencing how others perceive you. My client’s male boss was that person for her. He shifted the focus from “what you did wrong” to “here’s how I want to help you get ahead.” If you can, cultivate these relationships early. They help create opportunities for you that others may not offer.
2. Toot Your Own Horn (and the Team’s) It can be difficult for women to speak confidently about their successes without fear of being seen as boastful. But you need to share your wins and your impact. Be strategic—highlight how your work has contributed to the team's overall success, which often comes across more naturally. My client took the step of documenting her achievements and sending them in advance to leadership to stay ahead of the narrative.
3. Shift the Leadership Perception One of the toughest challenges is changing how higher-ups view you, especially if they’ve known you for a long time. This takes consistent effort. Focus on building executive presence—ensure that your communication, behavior, and approach reflect the senior role you’re aiming for. My client adopted a more proactive approach with her senior leaders by sending well-prepared documentation ahead of meetings, staying professional, and keeping the conversation focused on measurable outcomes.
4. Break the Old Patterns Leadership might still use belittling terms or see you through outdated perceptions. My client, for example, was often addressed with terms of endearment like “sweetie,” which undermined her professionalism. She had to strategically reframe these interactions by reinforcing her authority and role within the team. She stopped playing into these terms and instead used language that reinforced her professional value.
5. Measure Your Impact and Outcomes It’s not enough to simply do great work—you need to quantify it. Develop clear KPIs (key performance indicators) and provide updates on progress. Tie your work to the success of the organization. As my client discovered, getting involved in exec-level updates and ensuring her fingerprints were on key projects made a huge difference in how leadership viewed her contributions.

Personal Story: The Challenge of Navigating Male-Dominated Leadership

Working and coaching in financial services myself, I’ve faced these challenges firsthand. Not long ago, I was told, “You need to learn how to let a strong man lead you.” When I asked for clarification and specific behaviors, the response was vague but it became clear that the expectation was for me to be more coachable—a code for quiet and compliant. This lack of guidance, coupled with aggressive behavior and gaslighting, affected my confidence, clarity, and eventually my personal life.

This type of culture fosters not just toxicity, but also confusion and frustration for many women. We’re often told we need to adapt to leadership styles that don’t align with our own values or strengths, which leads to stress and ultimately a desire to leave.

Building a Stronger Future

The key for many women in leadership is to find advocates, build confidence, and reshape perceptions, both their own and others’. My client learned that she didn’t need to stay in the shadow of outdated views, but instead could push for a role that reflected her true worth. Similarly, women need to find environments where leadership values their contributions, or in some cases, be prepared to jump ship to find spaces that do.

If you're looking for further reading, I recommend exploring resources such as:

• Thriving in a Male-Dominated Workplace
• 15 Must-Read Books for Women Leaders
• Hostility Towards Excellent Women in Leadership

Women, your leadership deserves recognition. How are you finding your advocates and changing perceptions in your workplace? Let’s keep this conversation going. If you want to discuss more strategies to up level your business and leadership send me a DM.