Navigating A Tough Week

This was a tough week.

Hair is now gone.

I’ve developed an infection.

I navigated emotions that took me to the dark side.

First, understand that I embrace and lean into my emotions and process pretty quickly. I don’t get through, get past, or ignore them. I am skilled at welcoming them to the table.

However, I wanted to quit. I did not want to play this game anymore. I tried to find a way out of this “trap.” I then stopped fighting and gave in.

And so, this week I learned a deeper meaning of love that brought me to my knees.

The folks in my household all have “jobs” and the ability to be flexible is simply not there. I had needs this week and I never even had to ask. The exact thing I needed showed up.

1 – I was feeling sad and untrusting. Elizabeth Gillis in her Body Talk session had the perfect loving and caring touch that melted my heart and touched my soul. This started the avalanche of love and tenderness I got to receive this whole week.

2 – I was struggling with the affects this “treatment” was having on my body. My Reiki practitioner shared that a Dr. friend from the other side is now with me. Believe it or don’t. To me, this is evidence that I ask for support, and I get it.

3 – My hair was coming out in clumps, and this was a serious reality check. I was in morning, I was angry, I was sad. I didn’t know what to do. Lisa Bea and I were chatting, and out of the blue, she offered to cut and shave my head. My friends, the love she showed, the intimacy she shared, and the caring she held for me still makes me cry with love and gratitude.

I stopped denying expectations and gave myself permission to acknowledge what I was feeling.

Expectations are a funny thing. They can be sneaky because they hide in the background of your thoughts. For me, I know I am disappointed only because I have expectations that are not met. What are they? What is it that I believe I need that is not being fulfilled? How can I resolve these?? You see, the only way I can bring my emotions to resolution is to first acknowledge where they are coming from. It is then that I can sit down and have a teatime chat with what is coming up.

I allowed myself to release resistance navigating anger, sadness, and loss.

These feelings were coming and going very quickly, but not resolving. I can’t force resolution, so I sat with each one as it came. Finally, I was able to see how I was feeling and observe from a caring perspective. I understood from a knowing what was happening and allowed myself to let resistance go.

I am almost 38% through this “treatment” and have not had a normal day since it began. Learning to be grateful for where I am at and know that “this too shall pass” is my mantra.

I am so grateful for all the angels in my life, both in this world and beyond. I got to find a new meaning, no, a new feeling of love that is something beautiful to behold.