"Navigating Tough Times: Coping Mechanisms for Men"

As a seasoned corporate senior leader with over four decades of experience under my belt, I've weathered my fair share of storms. Throughout my career, I've encountered numerous challenges, including surviving seven armed robberies. However, perhaps the toughest battle I faced was the silent one within myself—a battle against chronic stress and mental exhaustion.

Working tirelessly, often clocking in 84-hour weeks, took its toll on my mental well-being. The relentless pressure and demanding responsibilities left me feeling depleted and overwhelmed. Yet, through perseverance and resilience, I emerged from the darkness of mental exhaustion, ready to share my journey and offer hope to those who find themselves in similar struggles.

In life, we will often encounter challenges that test our resilience and mental strength. It can be work stress and or relationship issues but navigating tough times is an inevitable part of our human experience. As men, our personal view of societal expectations may lead us to believe that we should "tough it out" or "man up," but it's essential to recognize that seeking support, asking for help and finding healthy coping mechanisms are signs of strength, not weakness or failure.

My early educators instilled a mindset in me that men should not show any vulnerability and should know all the answers to questions because when we got a question wrong in school we were shamed before our peers. A mindset that led me to suffer mental exhaustion at age of 49 working 84 hours a week. (You can read my story of recovery in my book “The Bulletproof Banker” available on Amazon.de )

Understanding Coping Mechanisms

Coping mechanisms are the strategies and behaviours we use to manage stressful situations and emotions. You must realise that some of these are good for our wellbeing and some contribute to additional stress like eating the wrong food, drinking too much and smoking. ?Recognizing healthy coping mechanisms is crucial for maintaining good mental health, especially during tough times.

Healthy Coping Strategies for Men

1. Express Emotions: Contrary to the stereotype that men should suppress their emotions, expressing feelings in a constructive manner is vital for mental health. Whether it's talking to a trusted friend or journaling, these outlets for emotions can help alleviate stress. Most people in the world have less than three people they would trust to talk to about their fears, can you be one of them for your friend.

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1. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself during difficult times. Take a moment to listen to what you tell yourself. Give the voice in your head a name, mine is called Cedric and when he tells me I am no good and I hear the words of harsh self-criticism I listen and then take a moment to be in the present and to slow down and disagree with the voice. Then I practice some self-compassion by treating myself with the same understanding and support I would offer to a friend in a similar situation. You can do that too if you can slow down and start to believe in yourself.
2. Stay Active: When I suffered mental exhaustion working 84 hours a week I turned to physical activity and became a marathoner and ultra-marathoner. It was not only beneficial for my physical health but also for my mental well-being. Engaging in regular exercise, whether it's going for a run, hitting the gym releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters So too was giving back and while running I raised money for charity which helped me feel good about myself.
3. Seek Social Support: I went for many lunch-time runs with colleagues and we all found while running we were supporting each other. ?So, don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family members, or support groups when you're struggling. Sharing your feelings with others can provide comfort and perspective, reminding you that you're not alone in your experiences. It’s important to realise that although you may feel alone, you are never alone you just need to share your feelings.
4. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing exercises and meditation, can help you stay grounded and present in the moment, reducing anxiety and promoting emotional resilience. Learning to slow down and be in the present moment while not in constant worry about the future can help you plan for the future you desire and deserve. You can not have the future you deserve if you can slow down in the present.
5. Set Boundaries: It's essential to recognize your limits and set boundaries while being able to say NO when required in order to protect your mental health. Learn to say no to people or situations that drain your energy and learn to give your time to activities that bring you joy and peace.

It can be difficult to say NO in the workplace but please believe in order to reduce your stress you need to review your workload and speak to your leader. Prepare for this conversation by listing out your present responsibilities and workload and ask what are they willing for you to let go if they wish you to do something new .

?If you have ever sat in your car looking at the building working up the courage to go into the office, or your workload is so heavy its impossible to finish and deliver in a normal working week and no matter what you do you feel stressed even when you are with family then you need help.

As a leader your responsibilities are not only the delivery of service and sales numbers but the responsibility for the mental health of your team. You can not keep asking people to do more with less or something is going to give. You can learn to be a better leader and to more aware of the feelings of your team.

?If you are suffering from stress in the workplace then reach out to me through bjkennomotivation.com or DM me on LinkedIn for coaching and together we can help you get the life you dream of.