Navigating Tough Conversations with Empathy and Impact

Are you worried about how feedback will be received?

Concerned about its impact on motivation, or even fearing increased turnover?

It's completely natural to feel these reservations, especially when delivering feedback that might not be well received.

When we need to give hard feedback, it’s only natural to protect ourselves.

We start building walls—turning down empathy, leaning heavily into rationality, and keeping things strictly "business." This is a coping mechanism, a way to brace ourselves against potential backlash.

But here’s the danger: when we shut down our empathy, we create distance. We lose the chance to connect with the person sitting across from us, to understand their feelings, or to see things from their perspective.

Our intention may be good—to maintain objectivity, to prevent the conversation from becoming too emotional—but what we’re really doing is creating a gap.

And in that gap, we lose trust.

Without trust, we are sure to encounter resistance, defensiveness or even shut downs.

What if there was a way to deliver feedback that kept the relationship intact, that encouraged openness instead of defensiveness? A way that allowed you to be direct and truthful while still showing that you care?

The key is to stay present in your care for the person, even while you’re addressing the tough issues head-on.

Here are four strategies to help you navigate these conversations with empathy and impact:

1. Breathe Consciously: In moments of tension, our instinct is often to react quickly. But taking a few seconds to breathe consciously creates micro-spaces between what you're hearing and how you respond. These micro-pauses allow you to remain centered, preventing knee-jerk reactions and fostering a calm, composed demeanor. Imagine it as giving yourself a moment to find your footing before stepping forward—it keeps you steady, balanced, and responsive.
2. Stay Curious About the Employee: Approach the conversation with genuine curiosity about the other person's experience. Ask yourself: What might they be feeling right now? What challenges are they facing? What are their needs and concerns? Curiosity is a powerful antidote to judgment. It shifts your mindset from “telling” to “exploring” and positions you as a partner rather than a critic. Think of curiosity as your bridge to empathy—it helps you see beyond behaviors to the person behind them.
3. Stay Connected with Your Intention: When the conversation gets tough, it’s easy to get caught up in emotions or lose track of your purpose. Remember why this conversation is happening. Is it about helping them grow, aligning them with the team’s goals, or improving outcomes for everyone? Keeping your intention front and center grounds you. It’s your North Star, guiding the conversation back to its purpose whenever things start to drift. This clarity helps both you and the employee understand that this isn't about criticism—it's about progress.
4. Take an Observer Position: Mentally step back from the conversation as if you were watching it unfold on a movie screen. This helps you stay aware of how the dialogue is flowing and gives you an objective vantage point to notice subtle shifts in tone, body language, and emotions. It's like having a bird’s-eye view—you see more, understand more, and are less likely to get lost in the moment. This perspective keeps you grounded, so you remain both present and balanced.

In my work with clients through The Executive Edge Program, I’ve guided leaders in transforming their feedback approach from one of hesitation and self-protection to one of courageous empathy. By integrating these strategies, they’ve cultivated a culture of trust and openness, driving significant improvements in team morale, performance, and retention. They learned that feedback, when given with both courage and care, becomes a powerful tool for growth and connection, not just correction.

These strategies aren’t just theories—they are practices I work on with my clients every day, with real results.

Let’s redefine how we give feedback, making it a conversation that leads to transformation. ????

Your Executive Coach,

Melissa Landry, PCC, CTRTC, EQAC, EQPC, EQPM, ATF

InChargeCoaching.ca