Navigating Thanksgiving Dinner Conversation
Jean M. Lawler, CIPP/US
Commercial + Insurance Mediator and Arbitrator @ LawlerADR | California Attorney | ROADS TO Resolution~Closure~Certainty Podcast and YouTube Host I Tenacious
Thanksgiving dinner. As wonderful as it will be to break bread with family and friends after two Covid-impacted holiday seasons, there is always a chance that conversation could veer off into topics that may be better left unsaid at the dinner table. What might a mediator suggest doing?
1.?IN ADVANCE: Anticipate. Agree on topics that are to be “off limits” at the dinner table, i.e. politics, gossip, lifestyle, life choices, etc. Agree on code words that can be used to signal each other of the need to change the conversation if it veers into “off limits” subjects. Come up with two or three general topics that should be of interest to most people and keep them front of mind, for an easy transition if need be.
2. DAY OF: If conversation starts down the road toward “off limits” topics, acknowledge what the other person is saying but don’t engage or debate. Instead, distract! Use those code words and planned topics to change the conversation. Ask the person to help with something. Ask questions (catching up with each other’s lives is a good way to start and any vacation plans for 2023 is another) - as we all know, we do like talking about ourselves!
3. PASS THE POTATOES PLEASE: If all else fails, ask the person to pass the potatoes - and then start talking or asking questions about something else. If you are the one on the receiving end of a request to pass the potatoes when in mid-sentence - take the hint!
4.?CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL + LET THE REST GO: Ultimately, remember that the people with whom you are sharing your table are people you love and care for, no matter how annoying they might be at times. Let any annoyance pass and enjoy the day.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and a great start to your holiday season!
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