Navigating Rocky Marriages: The "When the Kids Leave" Dilemma

"I’ll divorce you when your brother goes to college." It’s a stark statement many couples might resonate with, especially as kids prepare to leave the nest. For many parents, staying together for the sake of the children can mask deeper issues that simmer beneath the surface.

The reality is that marriage can be tough—like climbing a mountain while juggling flaming torches. When couples find themselves counting down the days until the kids are off to college, it's a sign that something needs to change.

So, how can couples navigate these rocky waters? Here are a few tips:

1. Communicate Openly: Address issues head-on rather than waiting for the kids to leave. Avoiding tough conversations often leads to resentment.
2. Revisit Your Relationship Goals: Remember what brought you together. Take time to reconnect and reignite that spark.
3. Seek Professional Help: As a therapist, I utilize Dr. John Gottman’s principles to help couples resolve issues. His research-based approach offers tools for improving communication and rebuilding trust.
4. Practice Self-Care: Prioritize your own well-being. A healthy individual contributes to a healthy partnership.
5. Embrace Change: Understand that marriage evolves. Adaptability is key to thriving, especially as life transitions unfold.

Remember, it’s never too late to turn the tide in your marriage. While the countdown to an empty nest might feel daunting, it can also be an opportunity for a fresh start—together. Let’s work on those flaming torches, not let them burn us out! Madhuri Govindu is a marriage counselor helping couples process difficult emotions and resolve issues.