Navigating Performance Coaching for Employees Who Lie, Manipulate, or Break Company Policies

Dealing with employees who lie, manipulate, or keep breaking company policies can be super tough. As a manager or part of the HR team, it's really important to handle these behaviors quickly and effectively to keep a positive and productive work environment. Let’s chat about how to coach such employees, understand why they act this way, and, if needed, let them go gracefully and with proper documentation.

Understanding the Psychology Behind Lying and Manipulative Behaviors

Before we jump into the coaching strategies, it’s useful to know why some employees lie or manipulate. Research shows that lying can come from different psychological and situational factors:

1. Fear of Failure or Consequences: Some employees lie or manipulate because they are scared of the consequences of their actions or failing to meet expectations. This fear can make them cover up mistakes or exaggerate their achievements to avoid punishment or judgment (DePaulo et al., 2018).
2. Desire for Control: Others lie or manipulate to gain control over situations or people. This can be a way to cope with underlying insecurities or to exert influence in the workplace (Vrij, 2018).
3. Habitual Behavior: For some, lying or manipulating is a habit, formed from past experiences where these tactics were rewarded or went unpunished. This behavior can be tough to change without significant intervention and support (Serota et al., 2020).

Steps for Performance Coaching

When you’re coaching an employee who lies, manipulates, or breaks policies, it’s important to follow a structured approach that encourages honesty and accountability:

1. Identify and Document Specific Behaviors: Start by pinpointing the exact instances of lying, manipulation, or policy violations. Document these behaviors with dates, times, and detailed descriptions. This documentation will be essential during coaching sessions and, if necessary, for future disciplinary actions.
2. Schedule a Private Meeting: Set up a private, one-on-one meeting with the employee to discuss your concerns. Make sure the setting is neutral and free from distractions to facilitate an open and honest conversation.
3. Use a Non-Confrontational Approach: Begin the conversation with a non-confrontational and empathetic approach. Share your observations and concerns without making accusatory statements. For example, instead of saying, "You always lie," try, "I've noticed some discrepancies in your reports, and I’d like to understand what’s happening."
4. Encourage Self-Reflection: Encourage the employee to reflect on their behavior and its impact on the team and company. Ask open-ended questions that prompt them to think about their actions and motivations. For instance, "Can you share why you felt the need to alter the figures in your report?"
5. Set Clear Expectations: Clearly outline the company’s expectations regarding honesty, integrity, and adherence to policies. Provide specific examples of acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. Make it clear that lying, manipulation, and policy violations will not be tolerated.
6. Develop an Action Plan: Work with the employee to develop an action plan that addresses the problematic behaviors. This plan should include specific, measurable goals, timelines, and resources or support needed to achieve these goals. Regularly review and update the plan to track progress and make necessary adjustments.
7. Provide Ongoing Support and Feedback: Offer continuous support and constructive feedback to help the employee improve. Acknowledge positive changes and provide guidance on areas that still need improvement. Regular check-ins can help reinforce expectations and maintain accountability.

When Coaching Fails: Termination with Grace

Despite your best efforts, some employees might not respond to performance coaching. In such cases, it’s important to handle termination with grace and proper documentation:

1. Review Documentation: Make sure you have thorough documentation of the employee’s behavior, performance issues, and the steps taken to address them. This should include meeting notes, action plans, and any written warnings or disciplinary actions.
2. Follow Company Policies: Stick to your company’s policies and procedures for termination. Consult with HR or legal advisors to ensure compliance with relevant laws and regulations. This step is crucial to protect the company from potential legal issues.
3. Schedule a Termination Meeting: Set up a private meeting with the employee to discuss the termination. Have a witness present, like an HR representative, to document the conversation and provide support.
4. Communicate Clearly and Respectfully: During the termination meeting, communicate the decision clearly and respectfully. Explain the reasons for the termination, referencing the documented behaviors and the steps taken to address them. Avoid personal attacks and focus on the facts.
5. Offer Support and Resources: Show empathy and offer support to the employee during this tough time. Provide information about any available resources, like career counseling, job placement services, or mental health support.
6. Secure Company Property: Ensure that the employee returns any company property, like keys, laptops, or access cards. Secure access to company systems and data to protect sensitive information.
7. Follow Up: After the termination, follow up with the remaining team members to address any concerns and reinforce company policies and values. This helps maintain morale and ensures a smooth transition.

Creating a Positive Work Environment

To minimize the occurrence of lying, manipulation, and policy violations, it’s essential to foster a positive work environment that encourages honesty and accountability:

1. Promote a Culture of Transparency: Encourage open communication and transparency at all levels of the organization. Create an environment where employees feel safe to speak up, admit mistakes, and seek help without fear of retribution.
2. Lead by Example: Leaders and managers should model ethical behavior and integrity. When employees see their leaders acting honestly and transparently, they are more likely to follow suit.
3. Provide Training and Resources: Offer training on ethical behavior, communication skills, and conflict resolution. Provide resources and support to help employees develop these skills and navigate challenging situations.
4. Recognize and Reward Honesty: Acknowledge and reward employees who demonstrate honesty and integrity. Recognizing these behaviors reinforces their importance and encourages others to follow suit.
5. Implement Clear Policies and Procedures: Establish clear policies and procedures for addressing lying, manipulation, and policy violations. Ensure that all employees are aware of these policies and understand the consequences of non-compliance.

By following these steps, you can effectively performance coach employees who lie, manipulate, or break company policies. If coaching fails, you can terminate them with grace and proper documentation. Understanding the psychology behind these behaviors and fostering a positive work environment can help prevent such issues and promote a culture of honesty and accountability.

References

DePaulo, B. M., Lindsay, J. J., Malone, B. E., Muhlenbruck, L., Charlton, K., & Cooper, H. (2018). Cues to deception. Psychological Bulletin, 129(1), 74-118. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.129.1.74

Serota, K. B., Levine, T. R., & Boster, F. J. (2020). The prevalence of lying in America: Three studies of self-reported lies. Human Communication Research, 36(1), 2-25. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1468-2958.2010.01369.x

Vrij, A. (2018). Detecting lies and deceit: Pitfalls and opportunities. John Wiley & Sons.