Navigating Participation Anxiety

Welcome to Practical Parenting, empowering parents with tips to navigate tricky situations, find joy, and thrive.?

Navigating a child's hesitancy and anxiety, especially around social and extracurricular activities, can be challenging. We want to encourage our children to try new things and dive deeper into things they love, but it has to be their choice. How do we distinguish disinterest from anxiety? Uncover the true intent behind our children's words and actions.

1. Understanding Barriers? - We never want to push our children, but rather help pull them along while allowing them as much control as possible.? We can decipher between anxiety and disinterest through active listening and attentive observation. Timing and situation are key components of connected communication.?

Actionable Tips?

• Open communication: Encourage your child to express their thoughts and feelings about the activity and validate them. Ask if they would like help processing. Support and facilitate their thought process.?

• Know when to back off: As important as it is to initiate communication, let your child lead, know when to back off, and allow your child space to process. You can always circle back later.??

Parenting Pro Tip: Have another trusted adult talk to them about it, particularly if they are closer in age and/or have lived experience with the situation at hand. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to another caring adult who is not your parent.?

?

2. The Power of Play?- Having conversations or working through challenges through play can be easier. Play with your child and act out the scenario with toys. For older children, chatting in the car when you are not face-to-face may feel easier and less confrontational.??

Actionable Tips?

• Model resilience: Share a story of a difficult situation and how you recovered. Better yet, model how you recover from a challenge or mistake in front of your child. Actions speak louder than words.???

3. Avoid Some of These Potentially Instinctual Reactions? - We parent how we were parented. And while many of us are attempting to do it differently, old, ingrained habits die hard. Be aware of these automatic behaviors when working through challenges with your children.??

?Actionable Tips?

• Avoid pressuring them: Avoid saying things like, “I paid for this, so you are going” or “I left work early so I could bring you to practice and now you aren’t even playing.” Our choices are not our children’s responsibility to appreciate. Parenting is supportive service without the expectation of acknowledgment or gratitude in return.??

• Disregard outside judgment: This can be tough, but try to avoid caring what other parents, coaches, or outsiders think of your decision. No one knows your child and family better than you. You are making the best decisions based on your intimate knowledge of your family; trust your instincts. If it doesn’t work out, you can model flexibility while changing paths for your children.?

?

Parenting Pearl?

"Every incremental step taken in facing our fears models resiliency in action for our children.”?

We want to hear from you!

Have you faced a similar parenting challenge? How did you handle it??

Remember, every child's journey is unique, and patience is key. We can support our children through their anxieties and encourage resilience.??

Listen to full Practical Parenting podcast episodes. If you found these tips helpful, share this newsletter. Follow us on LinkedIn for more updates and join our community.

?

Content provided by Theresa Nguyen, MD, MS, FAAP and Krystina Wales.