Navigating Negative Thinking (with the right questions)

I was reflecting the other day on the questions I've been asking myself over the past 18 months.? During this time, I’ve encountered some unexpected situations, both professionally and personally. These experiences led me to some interesting introspection and subsequent home truths about the quality of questions I was asking myself and their impact on my feelings about myself and the situation.

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If I’ve learned one thing in life, it is that it can prove to be a rollercoaster at times, with incredible highs and plunging lows.? When I think back to how I navigated those troughs, I found the quality of the questions I posed mattered as much as the answers I was seeking because the answers were shaping my perspective, impacting my emotions, and influencing my subsequent actions.

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Anyway, whilst traversing these ups and downs, I discovered three practical ways that helped me climb out of my emotional trenches.? They helped me improve my internal dialogue, enabling me to regain control of my thoughts and feelings. Here they are below; I hope they might offer you the solace they afforded me, too.

Tip 1: Change Your Environment

I mentioned this recently: the space you’re in can play a pivotal role in your mental state.? I realised that, at times, my surroundings reflected my inner emotional landscape; by that, I mean that when I was feeling low or overwhelmed, my physical environment tended to mirror my sentiment – go figure!

One of the most effective ways to change my mind was to change my surroundings deliberately. Sometimes, it was as simple as stepping outside for fresh air; whatever you choose, make it a distinct change from where you are.? I was amazed at the difference it would make, having an almost magical effect on my thoughts.? It gave me the mental energy to overcome the negativity and offer myself a different, more refreshing perspective on what I was pondering.?

Tip 2: Reframe 'Why' into 'How'

When I was in my spiral of thoughts, I sometimes asked myself the dreaded question, “Why is this happening?”? Of course, it’s a natural reaction to seek a reason and explanation for what I was going through; however, ‘why’ can feel confronting, especially when I wasn’t feeling my best.

Instead, I would reframe the question and replace 'why' with 'how.' Shifting my focus from ‘Why is this happening to me?’ to ‘How can I respond to this?’ changed my mindset.? It turned my mood from dwelling on the problem to seeking a solution instead.? Although small, this language change empowered me to approach the challenge with a problem-solving mindset; those familiar with neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) will understand the importance of language and reframing.

Tip 3: Change Your Physical State

I love sports and know how our bodies and minds are intrinsically connected.? I realised that altering my physical state often changed my emotional state, too, so I experimented with a pick-up basketball game.? It released a lot of tension and allowed me to think more clearly. I even found that forcing myself to smile would trigger feel-good hormones, too.? I found mindfulness and meditation immensely helpful; both these practices helped me become much more aware of my thoughts, detach from a toxic thinking pattern, and steady me during difficult periods.

Our internal dialogue and the questions we ask ourselves incredibly impact how we perceive reality.? Being mindful of our thoughts is essential because we tend to believe what we think.

I have learned that we can shift our perspectives and emotions and alter our actions, even in adversity.? The start of the journey is by showing ourselves compassion and understanding.

If you have any thoughts, experiences, or tips, please share them in the comments below.