Navigating the Myth of the "Work Family": How to Fire Compassionately

A friend of mine worked at a nonprofit that embraced the myth of being a "work family.” While I admire the attempt to place team relationships above a work contract that demands we perform tasks to belong to the workplace, the reality is that healthy families don’t disown you if you’re not pulling your weight. However, this nonprofit walked their talk: they never fired anyone, which, predictably, led to serious conflicts over a lack of accountability and equal responsibility-sharing among workers.?

In our current economy, a “no one gets fired” policy doesn’t work. But the fact that a work team isn’t a family doesn’t mean severing a professional relationship can’t be humane, thoughtful, and even celebratory.

Firing someone with empathy and respect begins long before the actual event, starting with a clear orientation. It’s essential to set the stage with well-defined job expectations and ensure employees understand how they will be observed, evaluated, and supported in their growth. From the outset, employees should leave orientation with a clear understanding of what could lead to dismissal and how that process would unfold, creating transparency and mutual trust.?

When you notice a mismatch between duties and performance, it’s crucial to provide support and feedback early. This proactive approach prevents frustration from building up and leading to a loss of faith in the employee. Often, an employee’s response to genuine support can either elevate their performance or reveal underlying issues contributing to their struggle. Make sure to document these attempts to address performance gaps.

Hiring, orienting, and caring for your employees well makes firing less likely but when it becomes necessary, it should be approached with the same care. Firing is never fun or cheap. It’s hard to take away someone’s livelihood and it serves as a stark reminder to the team that their place is conditional. However, if you’ve offered concrete, compassionate support multiple times and nothing changes, it’s time to consider the well-being of everyone involved.

Firing shouldn’t be viewed as a punishment but as a realignment of people with purpose. If someone isn’t a match for the work, releasing them allows both them and the organization to move forward. When it’s time to let someone go, it’s crucial to handle the conversation with care. Start with a succinct, private explanation, allowing their mood to guide the discussion. Offer them the necessary information, space, and time to process the situation, and have records available to help them recall the trajectory and understand the decision.

Ironically, the nonprofit that struggled with the "work family" myth had an impressive (albeit hypothetical) guide for severing relationships with employees. Their approach included a departing celebration, a severance package with a career coaching voucher for a complimentary session, a "Next Steps" guide offering resources for financial planning and opportunities tailored to address skills gaps, and a personal letter from their direct supervisor acknowledging their contributions and strengths when appropriate.

By providing these resources, you help the departing employee transition smoothly and maintain team morale and integrity. In this way, you can fire someone well, honoring their contributions while safeguarding the relationships in your organization.