Navigating the Mid-Career Crossroads: How Emotional Agility and a Growth Mindset can Lead You to Fulfillment

Feeling like your career is on autopilot? Do you yearn for more meaning, impact, or excitement? Have you ever felt trapped in a job because of societal expectations?

In the hustle of our professional lives, it's easy to find ourselves at a crossroads, especially in mid-career. You've climbed the initial slopes of your career mountain, but now you're wondering: Is this all there is? Is there a second peak waiting to be conquered?

If these questions resonate with you, you're not alone. As a mid-career professional myself, I've grappled with similar thoughts. Today, I want to share how the concept of emotional agility has transformed my perspective and can potentially revolutionize yours too.

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Rigid Mindset Trap

I once found myself trapped in a soul-crushing job, manually updating spreadsheets for hours on end. Despite my inner voice screaming for change, I clung stubbornly to the belief that "where there's a will, there's a way." This mantra, which had served me well in the past, now kept me chained to a situation that was slowly eroding my spirit. I thought that if I just soldiered through, things would improve. But this inflexibility was blinding me to the reality of my emotions. I was miserable, but I was suppressing those feelings, telling myself it was just a temporary setback.

The breaking point came during a meeting where I was scapegoated for issues beyond my control. That night, I broke down in front of my partner, sobbing uncontrollably. It was a moment of raw vulnerability that forced me to confront the painful truth: my rigid adherence to "pushing through" was suffocating my potential and happiness. I realized that true grit isn't about enduring endless discomfort but about having the courage to change course when necessary. As Susan David said, "Courage is not the absence of fear; courage is fear walking."

The Power of Emotional Agility

Emotional agility, a concept developed by Susan David, goes beyond traditional mindfulness and meditation practices. It cultivates flexibility in navigating our thoughts and feelings, enhancing decision-making in all aspects of life, especially our careers. This psychological flexibility allows us to adapt to new situations, overcome challenges, and pursue meaningful goals with confidence and resilience. By developing emotional agility, we gain clarity in decision-making, resilience in the face of change, authenticity in our actions, and improved relationships.?

It's a three-step framework:

1. Show Up:? Facing Your Emotions- emotional agility begins with acknowledging your emotions, not suppressing them. It's about facing your fears, anxieties, and frustrations with curiosity and courage. Ask yourself, "What is this emotion trying to tell me?" This simple act can help you gain control and respond more effectively.
2. Step Out: Gaining Perspective- once you've identified your emotions, step back and observe them as if you were a scientist. Notice how they manifest in your body and thoughts. When I practiced stepping out, I could see my frustrations as indicators that my job was misaligned with my values. This detachment allows you to gain perspective and avoid being overwhelmed.
3. Move On: Acting on Your Values- now that you understand your emotions, it's time to act. But instead of reacting impulsively, make choices that align with your core values. By moving on, I made the difficult decision to leave my unfulfilling job and pursue a path more aligned with my core values. Take some time to reflect on your core values. The next time you face a challenging situation at work, identify your choice point. Will you react based on your immediate emotions, or will you choose a response that aligns with your values? Ask yourself, 'What would my best self do in this situation?

This framework changed my world. It taught me that true grit isn't about inflexibility or pushing through at all costs. It's about being adaptable, understanding when to change course, and aligning our actions with our core values.

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Walking Your WHY: The Choice Point

One of the most impactful concepts I've encountered is what Susan David calls "Walking Your WHY." At its core, this idea revolves around the "choice point" - those moments when we decide whether to act based on our core values or our immediate thoughts and feelings.

"To live a good life of what we want cannot happen without feeling discomfort, for the value's sake instead of for the sake of seeking discomfort." Just as you can't climb Mount Everest without feeling tired or getting fit without sweating, you can't achieve meaningful career growth without some discomfort.

Finding your second Peak

As mid-career professionals, we're uniquely positioned to benefit from emotional agility. We have the experience to know what we don't want, the skills to pivot, and often, the financial stability to take calculated risks.

But we also face unique challenges. We might feel trapped by golden handcuffs, fear starting over, or worry about what others will think if we change course. This is where emotional agility becomes crucial.

Here are some steps to start embracing emotional agility in your career:

1. Identify your core values and challenge conventional wisdom: Don't be afraid to question societal norms and expectations. What path resonates with your values, even if it's less traveled?
2. Notice your emotions: When do you feel energized at work? When do you feel drained?
3. Practice the "Step Out" technique: When you're feeling stuck, try to observe your thoughts and feelings as if you were an outsider.
4. Use the Choice Point: In difficult moments, ask yourself, "What would my values have me do here?"
5. Embrace discomfort: Remember, growth often feels uncomfortable. That's okay.
6. Embrace the "Not Yet": Adopt a growth mindset by viewing challenges as opportunities for growth. Understand that your best career chapter is yet to be written and that setbacks are a natural part of the journey. From reading Carol Dweck's book, my biggest takeaway is that a growth mindset is not just about effort. It's also about trying different new strategies and seeking help. This is the best time to build deeper connections and explore new approaches.

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The Pitfall of Social Norms

"If you don't walk your WHY, you will end up feeling lost following through what the social norm dictates." We often chase societal definitions of success, but if these goals don't align with our core values, achieving them won't bring fulfillment.

Your second peak might not look like what society expects. The key is that it aligns with your values, not someone else's expectations. When we make choices aligned with our values, even if they seem unconventional, we're not sacrificing; we're prioritizing what truly matters. Your "second peak" might not be the highest mountain, but it's the one you've chosen to climb because it aligns with your personal compass.

Conclusion

Navigating a mid-career crossroads can be challenging, but developing emotional agility and a growth mindset can lead you to a future you love. By embracing your emotions and continuously seeking growth, you can turn uncertainty into clarity and achieve career fulfillment.

Remember, the journey to your second peak starts with a single step. Take that step today. Comment with one thing you're struggling with in your career, and I'll recommend a specific chapter from one of these books that might spark some insights!

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