Navigating Loneliness in the Midst of Career Change

I've rested and feel better for it, but I must leave the safety of the shady coppice and get going again. I pack up my things and mutter a promise that I will rest when I need it, or at least try to - after all, there's a long, long way to go. I'm back out there, surrounded by twisted trees and sprawling pathways. Not a soul for miles, or at least it seems that way.?

Part 5

Since graduation, I've been busier than I thought. I've started work on my first client project, been to Paris, and had several meetings with old and new contacts, all of which could turn into something future-work-wise. Then again, they could just be passing moments. We'll see. I've also had a big let-down in that a continuous piece of work I assumed was a sure thing fell through. It's funny; last week, I was worried I wouldn't be able to keep up and would need help sooner than I thought, but this week, I'm in the mindset that it might be easier to focus on one thing at a time. Swings and roundabouts and all that!?

For the moment, I'm busy with this strategy work for my client, and I'm happy to crack on with it. It's a compelling project about employer branding, but mainly it's just nice not to feel an underlying sense of dread when logging onto my computer. That's because I have a definite sense of control over my working approach. It feels like it's on my terms, which I've longed for. Having said that, it's definitely different.?

I was at my sister's not so long ago and heard her log into a call where her team spent the first five minutes idly chit-chatting, joking around, etc., and I felt a tinge of sadness. The more I sat with it, the more I realized what it was. I'm lonely, not in life, but in work. I missed having that with some of my old colleagues. The comradery, the conviviality, and the comedy.?

But - as I frequently remind myself- I also know this is what I must do for now. Focusing on working on my own terms the best I can and, most importantly, working towards helping people in the workplace. As I write this, I'm chuckling - my MSc research showcased the importance of leaning on peers for support within the same workplace context, particularly during times of change. One of the conclusions I drew from my study was that no one outside your workplace circumstance can genuinely get it on an empathetic level - many of my participants cited that they found more comfort in their work colleagues during change and uncertainty versus their friends and family. In short - connections with peer mentors are becoming increasingly crucial in surviving the workplace.?

So it's funny that I still threw myself into the deep end despite knowing all that. Brave or mad? Who knows! I feel like I kinda predicted this feeling before I even thought it! Anyway, there is nothing to say I won't have all the things I miss again or find the best of both worlds: flexibility and workplace friendship. On the bright side, I've got a few pals working for themselves, or they are the only company member in this country. I've been meeting and co-working with them. Even just sitting next to someone you know working quietly together helps! Another lesson I've learned in the early days of change.?

This has all got me thinking about loneliness and its presence in a career change. We hear a lot about loneliness - an epidemic heavily impacting our elderly communities, single parents, LGBQT+ communities, and perhaps most concerning, children - the list of those experiencing loneliness is endless.?

So how does loneliness show up when you find yourself in a position of career change? Some interesting studies indicate that people who lose jobs or go through unexpected career changes experience feelings of profound loss. A sudden lack of routine, structure, or interaction with colleagues and friends can result in emotional and physical isolation. Feelings of shame or embarrassment about their situation are rife. They may feel like they have failed and may not want to talk about their experiences with others. After all, career changes can be a stressful and emotionally draining experience.

Withdrawal from talking about these feelings can contribute to loneliness and further isolation. I can relate to this, but it's why I'm determined to keep talking. It helps, even if it sometimes feels uncomfortable to showcase the reality.?

Loneliness in the workplace doesn't just impact people making a change. For example, I've experienced loneliness as the only team member in my location, relying on Zoom to create a sense of connection. Returning to work after a pregnancy loss was one of my most lonely workplace experiences because I didn't know who I could talk to. In reflection, loneliness has always been there. And I don't think it's just a me thing. I think about folks encountering challenges, unique roles and industry experiences, unexpected life circumstances, and for understandable reasons, may not be able to talk about it within a work context. A sense of loneliness must be there, right?

How many organisations have included the following question in their employer voice survey:?Are you experiencing feelings of loneliness in your role / at work??I've never seen this question, and I think the answers would be surprising, if not a little concerning.?

I feel most comforted and less alone when I meet other people considering making a career change or they're already in the thick of it. It isn't rocket science, but sharing experiences and meeting like-minded people does wonders. It reminds you that people have made similar journeys before you, and many are on a similar path - you are not alone.?

When I reflect on the moments in a more corporate structure when facilitated conversations have been introduced, e.g., career development groups, employee resource groups, etc... the realisation that other people also experience similar emotions and feelings came as a bit of a shock. As I said, this is not rocket science, but I'm surprised how often I can forget that I am not alone. Am I the only one? I suspect it's something to do with human nature and how focusing on the internal monologue versus actively seeking common ground - seems to be easier.?

If I've learned anything these past two weeks or re-learned anything... Loneliness will always be ready to hang out, particularly during times of transition. Equally, though, people with similar feelings will also want to hang out and chat, and honestly, they're much nicer to drink tea with, so choose them. Talk to loneliness together - there is power in shared experiences.?

Until next time friends,

Lizzy