Navigating Homelessness in Phoenix: "A Candid Conversation About Survival, Loss, and Resilience in Difficult Circumstances"

It’s a Sunny September day. I see Matt, and we smile at each other and I walk over to him. He is a familiar face at Social Spin. “remind me your name” I ask sheepishly, "Matt. Or Matthew. As the nuns would call me. But I hated it.”

?“What do you like to be called?”? I asked,? “Not late for dinner." he chuckled

?I tell him I am here to share people’s stories. “Whatever you want to tell me,” I say to Matt.

"Yeah, I was born in Phoenix at the Old St. Joseph’s Hospital before it moved to Thomas St. Back when the nuns were the nurses. 1951. I used to live off Culver and 26th. My grandfather built that house. That’s my dad's side."

We continued chatting, the conversation naturally veering towards the infamous Phoenix heat. “You survived it, which is saying something because a lot of people passed this year,” he says.?

“My best friend, he was 81, you know we camped together and watched each other back. He passed away on the last day of August.? "He was 81. He was a real healthy guy, and he just woke up one morning and couldn't get his breath."

I said, “John, you know, get to the hospital, get checked out. But he wouldn't do it. He wanted to come to here [at Social Spin] on that Wednesday before he passed. So I carried his bags for him, got him over here. He loved the camaraderie and the food, and, you know. When we were done here we walked to the library. He had a spot over there, a? desk where he liked to read and stay cool. So I carried his stuff up there, got him up there. But the next day, I wasn't with him, and he was doing his routine and, you know, they found him at the library desk, slumped over.” Matt takes a deep breath in. He pauses for a moment. We silently sit together.?

“I don't know, he passed,” Matt says solemnly looking down at the ground. He then looks up and looks at me and says, “But that's my hot weather story for the summer.”

“I'm sorry that happened,” I say “Yeah, me too,” Matt says “How are you doing?” I ask.?

“I'm still in shock,” he says softly. He tears up.?

“Yeah, you know, I mean, I am at a spot in life where I'm the only one left in the family. Everybody else has passed. So you get used to, you know, things going away, you know. But I'm lucky to be here.”? As the conversation unfolded Matt talked about his family's deep roots in Phoenix, spanning generations. My grandmother, my mom's mom, she graduated with Carl Hayden.? So, you know, my history goes way back, my grandfather was one of the first bus drivers for Phoenix.

He speaks about his family’s history with Phoenix and this neighborhood. He’s never really been out of Arizona.?

“I lived with mom and dad for their last 30 years. When Dad passed Mom passed not long after. At home was my younger brother, 20 years younger than me. He was in and out of prison, alcohol and meth. A 350-pound mean gorilla, you know, when he's high.

He won't remember, you know, trying to kill you.”? He shares, “So my mom before her death says to me, you get your Social Security check,? and your brother will never amount to anything so I am going to leave him the house. I told her she could do what she wanted it was her stuff.

So she passed. He got everything. I think it was the night she passed or the next night.

He came into my room in the middle of the night and turned my light on. And he goes, “you know, I could kill you and bury you in the backyard and nobody would know about it.” And then he flipped the light off and left. So I'm laying there going, well, it's time to pack my bag and leave. The next day I left.”?

I slept in my car until somebody stole the catalytic converter and it’s $600 to replace it. And then my registration lapsed. I didn’t realize it. I got a ticket. Then a week later it got towed. But between all the tickets, getting it fixed getting all the registration and insurance together It just wasn’t affordable to try and get it back. So I paid my tickets and yeah, but anyway, everything I owned was in the car.”?

He softly gives a chuckle shaking his head, “so I just crashed out on the ground. Yeah, the spot right where the car was parked. I just slept there.”?

“I've been on the street like a little over five years. I did my first year up in Sunnyslope and I learned that was a big mistake. Sunnyslope is run by gangs and the cops are just as mean. I went up to Tempe.??

“Do you have a tent or something?” I ask “Oh, no, that's the last thing you want is a tent. It draws too much attention. So that's where I'm at. You know, I'll be guided to the next place. I'm not worried about it.

“Sorry,” I say.

“No, no, I love it. I love it. You know, I got what I need right here.” He pats his rolling suitcase. “Yeah, it works for me. Works for me. I feel real blessed.”

We sit together without speaking for a moment. He then shares,? “I was scared shitless when I first started. It's like you got people threatening to shoot you, knife you, burn you up, cut you up. You know, just drugs are rampant up there in Sunnlyslope. You got people here too but not as bad as it is up there.”?

“How do you survive those moments” I ask.?

“Pray,” he says matter of fact. “I pray. I have walked away from situations where I can only think there must be an angel watching over me right now. And I think when you start to learn how to let go of how you think it should be and just like, here's what that hand that is dealt and now….. He pauses, “and it's a good education. So just look at it that way. Because anything that comes easy to you, that's great. I hope it keeps coming that way, but it's not going to be that way. You know, you're going to have your moments. So, yeah, you know, I always thought, or everybody says, oh, you get older and it's going to be a piece of cake. These are supposed to be my golden years but yeah right, it’s not golden at all”?

He continues, “You know, but the way the economy is and everything is set up, everybody's in a tough space. Most of the public, they're going to check away from being homeless themselves.” He is tearing up. He begins to apologize for crying.?

“Don't worry about tearing up,” I say

“Well, you know, I am a man I am not supposed to.”

“Yes,? you are a man, and you are a human. Those tears just mean you are human”?

Thank you he says, I appreciate every breath I take.?

“Here I thought, I don't have anything to tell her or anything, but, you know, life's a blessing, you know. So, yeah, just run with it.” He says looking at me.?

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In sharing this candid conversation, we hope to raise awareness about the experiences of individuals like Matt and the urgent need for support and compassion in our community. Together, we can make a difference. #NavigatingHomelessness #Resilience