Navigating Grief, Bereavement, and Inclusion

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Although there are many topics to discuss, let's start with grief. The definition of grief is sorrow caused by death or loss. This definition fits so many more situations than death. I've learned you can experience grief through losses of friends, relationships, and jobs. This week is my first back in the office, and posting regularly on this platform. If it wasn't for this great article, I may not have been inspired to come back to writing the newsletter. I've learned so much in a few short months, that I wanted to share in hopes that this will help others.

Grief is Complex

Today, we're diving into the deep waters of grief, shedding light on the journey of healing, and advocating for inclusivity in the process. In the wake of profound loss, it's crucial to acknowledge the complexities of grief, especially in a society where discussions around bereavement are often muted.

Personal Reflections

I want to extend my heartfelt condolences to those who, like me, have experienced the weight of multiple losses within a short span of time. Losing my younger brother, my youngest aunt, and my mentor left me reeling with shock and navigating uncharted territories of grief. Amidst the pain, I found solace in acknowledging the impact of these losses and prioritizing my own well-being.

The Unspoken Realities

Grief doesn't come with a manual, and for many, the bereavement process is a labyrinth of emotions compounded by practical challenges. As a Black, Brown, or other woman of color, the weight of grief often extends beyond personal loss to encompass a myriad of responsibilities, from funeral arrangements to legal matters. It's a burden seldom discussed but deeply felt.

Navigating the Workplace

For those navigating grief while balancing professional obligations, the road can feel isolating. Many workplaces offer limited bereavement leave, leaving individuals grappling with the need for time to heal. I urge you to prioritize your mental health and explore options such as sick leave if needed. Your well-being should always take precedence.

Inclusion in Grief

In moments of loss, the support of community becomes invaluable. However, the stigma surrounding grief often leads to well-meaning friends and family retreating, leaving individuals to navigate their pain alone. Let's challenge this stigma and create spaces where conversations around grief are met with empathy and understanding.

Final Thoughts

As we navigate the turbulent waters of grief, let's remember to extend compassion to ourselves and others. Take the time you need to heal, and remember that your well-being is paramount. Together, let's foster a culture of inclusion and support, where no one feels alone in their journey of grief.

Here are 3 things I'm grateful for these days:

As a woman of faith, I believe that there is always dawn after the darkness and I am filled with gratitude. I inherited my brother's dog, Optimus Prime. He's now a 9-month-old Cane Corso. He's rambunctious, sweet and loving. He reminds me of my brother, by giving me these side-eye looks when I catch him doing something he's not supposed to do. He gets me up and out every day to walk multiple times of day which brings me to the next thing I'm thankful for, walking.

I've been unable to walk long distances since I had hip surgery 3 years ago. Walking had always been my solace and when I was unable to walk my daily 5 miles, things changed. I had to find a new way to exercise. Insert Peloton. But after the pandemic, the joy of riding wasn't the same as walking. I'm a big mindfulness proponent, and walking allowed me to be in the moment to become one with nature. As the spring quickly turns into summer, I'm back outside walking 3 miles a day with Optimus. I don't use the phone or listen to music. I pay attention to the birds chirping, the leaves rustling, the wind blowing, the cars whirring by, the kids on bikes, and, of course, the other dogs. When I'm walking my mind is clear. It's when I get my best ideas and solutions to problems I've been grappling with. Research states that walking 10 minutes a day improves your mood. Walking has so many benefits and I'm up to 10K steps a day.

The last thing I'm grateful for is the people who have shown up for me during this difficult time. People I've just met and some I've known for decades. There's nothing like grief to give you clarity on what really matters. Life is too short to spend time with people who no longer serve you, so go where love is served. That lesson has been hard. Painful, in fact. Walking away from people you've grown up with or known for most of your life only to realize that those people are no longer your people is no easy feat. Through it all, there is a lesson, and for that I'm thankful.

That's it for now. I have no idea if I'll continue to write this newsletter on a regular basis. I encourage you to subscribe to my email newsletter where I talk about all things leadership and equity. And if you have ideas or suggestions to share about topics you'd like me to share in that newsletter, please do.

About The Perry Report:

The Perry Report newsletter is a monthly LinkedIn newsletter dedicated to stimulating conversations on race, equity, leadership, and everything in between to enrich, educate, and transform lives. The newsletter is authored by Dr. Venessa Marie Perry, organizational psychologist, executive coach, and speaker. Dr. Venessa’s work focuses on partnering with people and organizations that want to advance racial equity through systematic, institutional, community-based, and societal change. If you want to learn more about our work and how we can assist you in organizational and leadership development through an equity lens, visit us here or book a FREE 30-minute discovery call to learn more.

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