Contemplating Divorce? A Reasonable Accommodation can protect your job!

Summer can be a challenging time for everyone, but for professionals contemplating or navigating a divorce, it can become particularly overwhelming and costly. ?With schools closed, finding adequate childcare, preserving your job, and managing the emotional toll of separation can seem impossible. This article uncovers the hidden struggles faced by professionals in this situation and offers practical tips for balancing work, childcare, and self-preservation during this tumultuous time.

Jane Doe's Story

Meet my former client Jane Doe, a high-level executive with a demanding and challenging job. Jane was separated from her spouse and was contemplating divorce as summer arrived. With schools closed, she struggled to secure reliable childcare, leading to frequent callouts at work. The stress of maintaining her job performance, coupled with her responsibilities as a mother and the emotional strain of her separation, was taking a toll on her mental and physical health.

Jane's soon-to-be ex-spouse, a high-level executive was dedicated to his career, offered little? co-parenting assistance, leaving her to manage the children on her own. The constant pressure and lack of support led to severe health issues. Jane developed high blood pressure, high cholesterol, anxiety, migraines, insomnia, and started binge eating for comfort. The emotional and physical toll was overwhelming, and she felt trapped in an unending cycle of stress and health problems. Her workplace trauma was further exacerbated by the demanding nature of her job, which required her to be constantly available, productive, and on the job.

Challenges Faced by Jane Doe

• Inadequate Childcare: With schools closed, finding reliable childcare became a major issue, leading to frequent disruptions at work and poor performance evaluations.
• Job Security: Frequent callouts and reduced productivity jeopardized her job security. She put her employer on notice of the impending divorce.
• Emotional and Physical Health: The emotional toll of separation and the lack of support significantly impacted on her heath and emotional wellbeing.
• Workplace Trauma: The demanding nature of her job and the lack of support and empathy from her employer and at home caused significant stress and burnout.
• Work-Life Imbalance: Juggling work responsibilities, childcare, and personal well-being became a constant struggle.

I Helped Jane Doe create a strategic roadmap to choose the right divorce path through my 12-Week Coaching program, “Navigating Divorce with Grace.” As a Certified Divorce Strategist, I worked closely with Jane and guided her as she navigated through the emotional, financial, and legal aspects of divorce. ?Here are 10 tips on how we achieved success and began her healing journey.

1. Strategic Planning Ahead: We created a detailed schedule that accommodated both her work and childcare needs. We identified summer camps, community programs, and trusted babysitters early.
2. Reasonable Accommodation Request: As a Certified Employment Law Mediator, I guided Jane through the process to request a reasonable accommodation with her employer, to ?provided her the flexibility to work from home. The accommodation addressed the struggles of inadequate childcare. Understanding and exercising her legal right to request a RA or FMLA leave provided Jane the assurance of caring for her children. In addition, although FMLA leave is unpaid, it guarantees job protection as long as she is fit to return to work once her FMLA is exhausted.
3. Employee Assistance Program (EAP): Jane capitalized on her employer's EAP, which offered resources for finding licensed mental health providers in her area at a discounted rate.
4. Created a Budget: We developed a budget for Jane to better manage her money during the summer. This budget took into account the higher childcare costs and her fixed budget, helping her plan for the financial impact of schools being closed.
5. Set Boundaries: We established clear work hours and personal time, ensuring Jane had dedicated time for self-care and relaxation and created a co-parenting plan agreement.
6. Prioritized Self-Care: Jane engaged in activities that promoted her well-being, such as exercise, meditation, and hobbies.
7. Developing Emotional Intelligence: We worked on understanding and managing her emotions, which helped Jane navigate stressful situations with more clarity and confidence.
8. Created Exit Strategy: Together, we developed a strategic divorce exit plan that preserved her assets, career, and mental health.
9. Health and Wellness Plan: I helped Jane develop a workout regimen and a healthy diet plan, which significantly improved her physical health. Her high blood pressure and cholesterol levels began to stabilize, and she experienced fewer migraines and reduced anxiety.

10. Developed Emotional Intelligence and Self-Awareness skills: Emotional wellness and self-awareness are crucial during difficult times of change. By understanding and managing her emotions, Jane approached challenges with a clearer mind and made better strategic decisions. Self-awareness helped her recognize when she needed a break and when to seek help, ensuring she maintained her mental health.

This scenario is also very typical of professional men in the workplace who are navigating divorce. As a Certified Divorce Mediator for 15 years, I witnessed firsthand, the trend of men taking on the role as the primary custodial parent. Although they face many of the same childcare challenges, they are often reluctant to request FMLA leave or reasonable accommodations because it doesn't appear to be a "macho" thing to do. Consequently, men are less likely to request leave from their employer, so the suffer in silence. Seeking the guidance of a divorce strategist creates a safe space for men to develop a roadmap to develop and manage their work-life balance, childcare needs, and emotional well-being during this difficult time.

For professionals with security clearances, it is crucial to strategically navigate the steps of your divorce to ensure it does not impact your job security. An adversarial divorce can put your security clearance at risk, making it imperative to inform your employer about your personal situation. Seeking professional help to manage your personal and professional life is essential. Be proactive and take the necessary steps to safeguard your career and clearance during this challenging time.

Seeking Professional Help

Statistics show that over 50% of first marriages will end in divorce. Navigating a divorce is not something you have to do alone. Professional help can provide the support and guidance needed to create a roadmap for preserving your assets, career, and mental health. A family therapist or healthcare therapist can offer emotional support, while a Certified Divorce Strategist ?can help you strategize and choose the right divorce path with clarity.

Divorce is a challenging process, but it can be navigated with dignity and grace. By focusing on emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and seeking professional help, you can create a balanced work-life situation and ensure your well-being.

Schedule a Complimentary Discovery Call

Timing is everything. If you’re contemplating divorce or navigating the process, scheduling a 30-minute Discovery Call with a divorce coach should be the first step towards creating a strategic exit plan. As a Certified Divorce Strategist Coach, I can help you to find clarity and confidence in your decisions. Together, we can work towards a dignified resolution.

Linda Taylor, Certified Divorce Strategist Coach

[email protected]

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