Navigating Difficult Relationships with Mindfulness: Insights from "The Free Lawyer" and "Conscious Corner with Annie + Courtney" Podcasts

Hello LinkedIn Community,

I had the honor and great pleasure of recently guesting on Gary Miles ' podcast, "The Free Lawyer" where we delved into a topic that resonates deeply with many of us: dealing with difficult people. Whether it's an adversary in one of our legal cases, colleague, boss, spouse, or even a child, we all encounter individuals who test our patience and can propel us into reactivity. The question is, how do we navigate these challenging relationships with mindfulness and incline ourselves in the direction of relaxation?

I decided to build on my discussion with Gary in the latest episode of my podcast with Annie Calvert, MBA, CPC , " Conscious Corner Podcast with Annie + Courtney ," where I shared a powerful mindfulness practice called "PRO." It can help us step out of reactivity and respond more skillfully in the moment. This practice is based on an acronym that stands for Pause, Relax, Open and can be used as a formal meditation, or informally woven into our daily lives and relationships. Here’s a brief overview of how it works:

P - Pause

The first step is to pause. In the fast-paced world we live in, taking a moment to stop and notice how we are feeling can be incredibly challenging. Yet, the pause can create some space and an internal sense of slowing down. It allows us to step out of our habitual reactions and can make all the difference in how the next moment unfolds. We simply invite attention to come into the body, noticing how it actually feels within the body. With a kind, curious attention, we notice any areas of tension, like a clenched jaw or tight shoulders. We also recognize our thoughts and any mood states that are present. As much as possible, we acknowledge our present moment experience without judgment.

R - Relax

The next step is to incline the body and mind to relax. After noticing any tension within the body, we extend an invitation for those regions to relax. This doesn’t mean forcing ourselves to feel calm or less tense, but rather inviting a softening of the muscles. As it pertains to the mind, we let go of having to fight, push away or otherwise change our thoughts. We just allow our experience to be as it is. This gentle invitation to relax can help reduce agitation in both the body and mind and can create a sense of ease.

O - Open

Finally, open to the present moment. We can open to what is happening in the here and now, beyond the sense of “me,” which enables us to more fully engage with the situation or person in front of us, free from the stories and judgments that often cloud our interactions. By opening to the present, we can find the most wholesome and skillful ways to respond and proceed with more patience and centeredness in our interaction with others.

Practical Application

This practice can be incredibly beneficial in various scenarios, whether you're dealing with a difficult colleague, navigating a tense situation with a client, or managing stress at home. It takes only a few seconds, but can make a significant difference in how we respond to the difficult people in our life.

Formal Meditation Practice

For those interested in a deeper dive, you can listen to my formal guided PRO meditation here . And for a discussion on the PRO guidelines, I invite you to listen to the latest episode on Conscious Corner with Annie + Courtney on Spotify on Friday.

Additional Resources

• Book Recommendation: For those interested in learning more about PRO and mindful communication, Gregory Kramer's book "Insight Dialogue" offers profound insights and practices.
• Podcast Episode: Listen to the full episode of "The Free Lawyer" here.

I hope you find these insights and practices helpful in navigating your own challenging relationships. Remember, mindfulness is a muscle that strengthens with practice, offering us the ability to respond, rather than react, and to engage with others from a place of calm and clarity.

#Mindfulness #StressManagement #ProfessionalDevelopment #TheFreeLawyerPodcast #GaryMiles #MindfulnessInLaw #MentalHealth #SelfCompassion #Acceptance #MindfulCommunication #Coaching

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