Navigating the Depths of Burnout: My Personal Journey

As I transition my 'blogs' to articles on LinkedIn, delving into two key areas—business development insights and personal reflections on less-explored facets of business life—I find myself compelled to share a deeply personal experience that I've skirted around in previous posts: burnout.

Several weeks in the making, this article has been prompted by encouragement, or perhaps a gentle nudge, to be open about the often-avoided topic of burnout. My journey through complete burnout has been prolonged and arduous, and I believe it's crucial to shed light on these darker aspects of business ownership and leadership. My intention is not to garner sympathy but rather to contribute to a more open dialogue around mental health challenges in the professional realm.

Defined as a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion resulting from prolonged stress, burnout is a multifaceted issue that extends beyond a mere list of symptoms. While the typical markers include headaches, stomach issues, fatigue, frequent illnesses, and changes in appetite or sleep, my personal encounter with burnout transcended these surface-level indicators.

In 2019, I was initially diagnosed with depression and anxiety, a moment that felt like hitting an insurmountable wall. My breakdown wasn't a singular event but rather an ongoing struggle to function. The racing thoughts and the feeling of my body moving through treacle marked a reality where burnout persisted not just for days, weeks, or months, but over the span of years.

Here's a glimpse into what burnout looked like for me:

• Physically Draining: Beyond tiredness, every step felt like lifting a heavy burden. Getting out of bed became a monumental effort, as my body ached and felt overwhelmingly heavy.
• Inability to Cope: The day seemed insurmountable from the moment I woke up. Anxiety, shakiness, and fear set in before I even left my bed, a result of the stress awaiting me each day.
• ?Sleep Disturbances: Nights were marked by waking in panic, heart racing, and an unshakable feeling of needing to escape. Dreams became energetic, almost manic, and disturbing.
• ?Emotional Rollercoaster: Oscillating between sadness, anger, irritability, and indifference within minutes became a norm. Irritability, especially, signalled the onset of stress.
• ?Increased Illness: Once healthy, I found myself falling ill every month without fail, a stark change from my prior state of well-being.
• Appetite Fluctuations: From avoiding food during stress to consuming sugary treats in excess, my relationship with food shifted drastically.
• ?Existential Struggle: A constant feeling of being unable to face life, coupled with the belief that my existence was causing suffering to others.
• ?Persistent Self-Doubt: A pervasive sense of failure and self-doubt, unrelated to any concrete reasons but intensifying as stress levels rose.
• ?Anxiety or Depression: A consistent presence of either anxiety about the future or a deep sense of melancholy rooted in the past.
• ?Feeling Detached: A profound sense of detachment from the world, further isolating me amid my struggles.

This complex interplay of physical and mental manifestations didn't descend upon me all at once but gradually seeped into my life. It aligned closely with escalating stress levels, triggered by the loss of a significant account in 2019 while serving as the managing director of a business. Despite recognising the rocky road ahead, I soldiered on for three more years, a tale to be shared another day.

I share these details not for sympathy but with the hope that, if you or someone you know is grappling with burnout, this narrative resonates and reinforces the understanding that you are not alone.

I intend to explore this subject further as you can imagine this article only scratches the surface of a very complex subject/experience.

Claire Wozencroft

Founder of Out of the Cage

[email protected]