Navigating Custody and School Calendars: Essential Tips for Parents in the Triangle

Juggling the complexities of custody can be challenging, especially when different school schedules are at play. Understanding how these arrangements might impact your day-to-day life is essential to providing a smooth transition for your children.

Whether you're in the midst of a divorce or adjusting custody schedules due to changing school calendars, recognizing how these changes affect your kids allows you to provide the support they need.

North Carolina’s School Schedules Can Make Custody Complicated

In Wake County, many schools follow a "year-round" schedule for elementary and middle school-aged children, while high schoolers are on a traditional schedule. The year-round school schedule is organized into four “tracks,” with three tracks in session at any given time and the fourth on a three-week break. This setup can complicate custody arrangements as the staggered breaks require careful planning and consideration, especially if your co-parent is uncooperative or inconsistent.

If you have children on different schedules, such as one in high school on a traditional calendar and another in elementary school on a year-round schedule, it can be difficult to balance their needs and routines. Clear communication and flexibility are key to making sure both children get sufficient time with each parent.

5 Tips to Make the School Year Easier for You and Your Children

No matter the school calendar, navigating the year as a separated or divorced parent can be tough. Here are five tips to help make the school year easier:

1. Understand the School Calendar

Whether your children attend a year-round or traditional school, you need to be familiar with their school calendar. The calendar can change slightly each year, so it's important to communicate with your co-parent to make sure one of you (or childcare) is available on their days off. Print out the calendar, translate it into your terms, and transfer it to your preferred format.

If you and your co-parent are amicable, a shared calendar can keep both of you informed about your children's events and routines. This can include school, holidays, extracurricular activities, doctor’s appointments, and more. Sharing this calendar with other caretakers involved in your children’s lives, such as nannies or grandparents, can also be beneficial.

For parents in Wake County, you can view the traditional calendar for Wake County schools here, and a year-round calendar here. Staying informed and organized with these resources will help facilitate the coordination of custody and school schedules, making transitions smoother for everyone involved.

2. Make Sure Kids Get Time with Both Parents During Holidays

In a perfect world, you and your co-parent would share time with your children on every single holiday. In a perfect world, you might’ve stayed together and never even had to create a custody arrangement and detailed schedules in the first place. However, the reality of divorce means navigating complications like your children’s school schedules, making holidays even more difficult.

We recommend doing your best to divide time with your children in the most equitable manner possible so they have ample time to spend with both parents outside of school. Additionally, try to keep your children together whenever feasible, as sibling bonding is vital to their overall well-being.

3. Be Proactive – Be Prepared – Plan Ahead

When it comes to balancing custody and school schedules, it’s so important to be proactive in your planning. Currently, the 2024-2025 and 2025-2026 school calendars for Wake County are available here. Reviewing these calendars now gives you the opportunity to be proactive with your children’s schedules and coordinate drop-offs, pickups, vacations, and more. This can prevent you and your co-parent from being caught off guard or struggling to make last-minute arrangements. Being prepared for your share of parenting responsibilities involves understanding and anticipating your children’s needs.

4. Be Flexible

Circumstances can change unexpectedly. Your co-parent might need you to pick up the kids due to unforeseen circumstances, and there may be times when you need the same help. Flexibility strengthens your relationship with your co-parent and reassures your children that their well-being is a priority for both of you. Establish contingencies in your custody arrangement to avoid going back to court or mediation if schedules change.

5. Support Your Kids

At the end of the day, your children and their health and well-being are what matters most. It’s important to provide them with as much stability and security as possible in the wake of your separation or divorce. When parents are at each other’s throats, it’s the kids who suffer the most. Don’t allow your children to be swept up in a power struggle between you and your co-parent. A few tactics to help ensure maximum support for your kids include:

• Creating a simplified calendar that they can see daily.
• Checking in with them weekly to discuss upcoming events and what they can expect their days to look like.
• Framing a schedule around their needs, not yours.
• Being consistent with routines as much as possible

For more tips on how to support your children through divorce, click here.

How Triangle Smart Divorce Can Help You

At Triangle Smart Divorce, we have decades of experience with North Carolina’s school calendars. We know how complicated matters can get for separating or divorcing parents, but we also know how to come up with an arrangement that works. If you need assistance creating a custody arrangement that prioritizes your children’s well-being (which includes putting their schooling first), our custody lawyers are here to help. Call now to request a consultation where we can discuss your options, rights, and responsibilities. Let’s cut any potential for drama out of the equation and focus on what’s best for your kids.