Navigating Conversation Hurtles

My jaw hit the floor, and the words stung like a slap across the face. In that moment, everything I had planned to say seemed to evaporate into thin air.

Despite our best efforts to anticipate every possible scenario, there are times when conversations take a sharp turn that leaves us reeling.

Being an extremely passionate person, my natural response is to fight in these moments. However, with practice there is a way to stay true to your beliefs without showing an ugly side of yourself.

When you react you are giving away your power. When you respond you are staying in control of yourself. - Bob Proctor

Pause and Breathe

This is sometimes the hardest step, but if you can remember to do this one you are setting yourself up for success. By giving yourself a moment to process the unexpected turn in the conversation you can collect your thoughts and avoid an emotionally charged response. Oxygen to your brain will help clear your mind and allow you to maintain your composure.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

As humans it is normal to feel a wide range of emotions. Recognize and validate your emotions internally. Owning your emotions can help you move forward with a clearer mindset.

Reframe the Situation

Shift your perspective to see the situation from the other person's shoes. Consider what the unexpected response might tell you about their position or needs. This approach can help you respond with empathy.

Clarify and Ask Questions

If the unexpected statement is unclear or surprising, ask for more details. Open-ended questions can help you understand the underlying reasons and guide the conversation back to center.

Express Your Feelings Constructively

Once you have processed your initial reaction, express your thoughts calmly and professionally. Use “I” statements and do not assign blame. For example, “I was caught off guard by that comment. Could we explore what led to that perspective?”

Refocus on the Goal

Revisit the purpose of the conversation. Redirect the discussion towards the original objectives or find common ground that allows both parties to work towards a resolution. Staying focused on the end goal can help steer the conversation in a more productive direction.

Take a Break if Needed

If emotions are running high and it is becoming difficult to communicate effectively, it might be helpful to suggest a short break. This allows everyone involved to cool down and return to the discussion with a fresh perspective.

Reflect and Learn

After the conversation, take some time to reflect on what happened. Consider what triggered your reaction and how you can better handle similar situations in the future. This reflection can be invaluable for improving your communication skills and preparing for future interactions.

If you are new to intentionally practicing your communication skills, there may be some bad habits you need to break. With support and practice you can navigate conversations with greater confidence and composure.

Communication works for all those who work at it. - John Powell