Navigating the complexities of life

For the last five years, I have been experimenting at home with the professional practices of my job as a Scrum Master, which proved very valuable. I hold my own personal retrospective every week to learn and improve myself continuously. I'm using a Scrum-board-like tool to plan to reach my goals while staying flexible. Recently, I've been conducting retrospectives with my wife, which leads to beautiful conversations, even on topics where we thought there was nothing more to improve.

One of the reasons why Scrum practices are helpful at home too, is because Scrum is fit for complex work. In software development, complexity is just around the corner. Requirements often need to be clarified and are always subject to change. Technology is evolving rapidly, and innovative technical solutions are needed. And so we end up in the complex domain of the Stacey Matrix, where the Scrum framework proves most effective.

But have you realized that many of your personal challenges are also in the complex domain? Which education or job to pursue? How do you find your perfect matching partner? How to be a good parent? And sometimes, life surprises us with accidents, serious illnesses, or losses that put us in a complex context.

These challenges are new to you and unique to your situation. In all these situations, what you want needs clarifying, and you still need to figure out how to get it. Hopefully you have some people around you for support, but that doesn't solve the issue yet. Their experience and subsequent advice can be valuable but are often specific to their situation, not yours. You will have to find out for yourself what works for you!

Enter empiricism.

You can view life as a big string of experiments:

• Growing up as an adolescent: discovering your authentic identity and autonomous self.
• Finding work: Job interviews provide first insights into the pros and cons of potential functions and companies that seem interesting. Working an actual job gives you the essential experience to figure out what you want and need to be happy at work.
• Finding a partner: By dating, you discover which personal qualities you appreciate in a potential partner. Being in a relationship teaches you really valuable lessons.

If you get it right the first time around, lucky you. However, your requirements evolve over time because you evolve, as does your environment. By keeping an open eye on your needs and wants and regularly evaluating how you are doing, you can stay on course on your journey towards happiness.

When you want a proactive approach, it's worth investing in finding your purpose. Your purpose is your north star, a guiding beacon showing you where you want to go. It works very similar to a product vision defined by a Product Owner that helps Scrum teams focus on the most valuable work. My purpose is to inspire people to create happiness in their lives. Finding your own purpose provides focus and value in your personal life.

When you find yourself in complex situations, your purpose directs you where to go. As such, it serves you in making more valuable decisions and supports you in navigating the complexities of life. Does it make life easier? Not necessarily. But it does help to make decisions that feel good and right to you.

Do you recognize the power of purpose? Do you have a personal purpose to live by? I'm very curious to hear from you, so please share your thoughts in the comments...

Take care and till next time!

Kind regards,

Herman / Scrumpy Dad

PS1 I write about applying practical Agile and Scrum practices at home in my new book, A Scrum Master's Guide to Happiness. Finding your purpose is one of the key exercises in the book.

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