Navigating Changes When Your Child Goes To University.

As our very short summer (which lasted around two seconds) fades into autumn, many parents like my husband and I have recently faced a significant life transition: sending a child to university.

This year, joining the ranks of these parents, I'd like to share some reflections on this experience as it might resonate with others in similar situations.

Before you wonder why I am not talking about EVs, EV Charging, Sustainability, or perhaps something leadership-related today, as someone who talks a lot about continuous improvement and managing change, I wanted to acknowledge that I fully understand how challenging change can be, especially when it's personal.

Even for people like me who deal with change every day on a professional basis, I still find it difficult when it's personal and about your family. This is one of those moments that deserves special attention, especially as I regularly talk about my son James on my podcast.

The Countdown

It all began with the anxiety and, of course, excitement of James' A Level results. In our case, we then had just four weeks between hearing the good news and the day our son would leave for Exeter University to study Biosciences. Those weeks were a whirlwind of preparation and emotion.

Shopping trips to pick up various new belongings became the new normal. We made excursions to IKEA and Dunelm and countless other not-so-big online purchases.

In retrospect, we may have overdone it (or maybe that was just me), but there's a natural instinct to ensure your child has everything they might need as they enter this new phase of life.

The Big Move

Moving-in day arrived with anticipation and anxiety for all of us. Our car was packed to the brim with our son's belongings and more!

Arriving at the university was overwhelming. The campus was a buzzing hub of activity as families helped their children settle in (can I still call him a child? I think so, but I know he would disagree!).

We met one of our son's new flatmates, which, bizarrely enough, felt like a small comfort in the middle of a sea of change.

Upon installing him in his room, we realised how our roles would change. We were subsequently limited in our access to our son's new accommodation (by him, but then I realised that we were no longer cool, so that was the reason for us to be herded away) - a reminder that we now needed to step back to allow him to establish his independence.

The Emotional Journey Home

The return home was particularly challenging for me.

His empty room was a reminder of the change that had just taken place.

It's natural for everyone to experience a range of emotions at these times: pride in their achievements and excitement for their future, but also a sense of grief and loss, as I felt.

These feelings definitely manifested in unexpected ways. A few days after he had left, I woke up in the early hours, worried about whether he was eating properly or settling in okay.

I know that these feelings are a normal part of the transition process.

Looking Ahead

As parents, we are having to navigate our own path through these changes. It's a time of adjustment, not just for our son but for us as well. We're learning to step back and trust in the resilience and capability we've nurtured in him over the years, which we know he definitely has!

University is a place of growth, discovery, and independence, and even though our son isn't the most outgoing, we know he will find his "tribe." This is his time to explore, learn, and begin shaping his adult life.

Embracing Change

To all those experiencing this transition like us, please remember that it's okay to feel this mix of emotions, but we also need to look forward to the exciting new chapter that's beginning, both for you as parents and your child.

Thanks for reading

Liz