Navigating Challenges Through the Lens of Polyvagal Theory

Great leaders don’t just manage tasks—they inspire, connect, and navigate challenges with resilience. Understanding the nervous system through the lens of Polyvagal Theory isn’t just self-care; it’s an essential leadership tool.

Last week, life handed me three significant challenges in quick succession. First, my dog experienced a seizure—a frightening and unfamiliar experience that left my heart racing and my mind in overdrive. Then, my husband left for a six-day trip, a situation I’m familiar with after 25 years of marriage but which felt unexpectedly different this time. Finally, I received shocking news of a dear friend’s sudden passing—a text that jolted me during an otherwise ordinary evening.

In this article, I want to explore how my nervous system navigated these events, drawing on the principles of Polyvagal Theory. My aim is to provide insight into how our nervous systems function, their constant interplay with our environments, and how actively managing my responses helped me maintain health, well-being, and performance through challenging times.

Next week, I’ll explore how your nervous system serves as the foundation of effective leadership. Together, we’ll uncover how becoming an active and intentional operator of your nervous system can transform everything—for the better.

Event 1: Witnessing a Seizure

Tuesday morning began as usual until one of my dogs had a seizure. It was a terrifying moment—my body tense, my heart racing, and my brain scrambling to make sense of the situation. My nervous system immediately activated its survival mechanisms, flooding me with thoughts of “what if” and “why.” Thankfully, my husband was home, and together we were able to co-regulate. By talking it through, we calmed each other and formulated a plan to consult the vet. His presence allowed my nervous system to settle enough to take measured action rather than staying stuck in fear.

Event 2: Adjusting to My Husband’s Departure

My husband’s trip felt routine at first—something I’ve adapted to over the years. But this time, the context was different. With his recent retirement, we’ve spent much more time together, and his absence highlighted a shift in our roles and routines. My nervous system registered a subtle sense of disconnection, amplified by having fewer co-regulators at home (only my youngest child, who mostly prefers his own company). I didn’t fully realise the weight of this until I noticed how the house felt quieter and my energy lower.

Event 3: Grieving Unexpected Loss

Wednesday evening, I received devastating news via text: a close friend had passed away unexpectedly. Alone at the time, my nervous system braced for the impact. My immediate instinct was to reach out for co-regulation, to hear another voice and make sense of the situation. After a brief call with a friend, I returned to my routine—distracting myself to keep the overwhelming emotions at bay. Knowing my limits, I scheduled a session with my therapist to process the grief safely and later planned activities, such as a padel match, to reconnect with others and restore my vagal state.

The Safety- Danger Equation

The Safety-Danger Equation is central to how our nervous system assesses whether we are safe, at risk, or in immediate danger. This assessment happens through neuroception, an unconscious process where the brain and body detect cues of safety or danger from inside us, outside us our immediate and global environments, and between - other people's nervous systems. Each of the events I described above tipped my nervous system towards danger.

Understanding the Nervous System: A Lifeline in Difficult Times

Our nervous systems are designed to help us survive and thrive, constantly scanning our environments for safety or danger. Polyvagal Theory teaches us that we have three primary pathways:

1. Ventral Vagal State: A sense of safety, connection, and calm.
2. Sympathetic State: A fight-or-flight response to perceived threats.
3. Dorsal Vagal State: A shut-down response when overwhelmed.

Coregulation—the connection with another person—plays a vital role in helping us shift between these states, providing the safety our nervous systems need to process emotions and return to balance.

How I Actively Supported My Nervous System

In the days following these events, I noticed signs of nervous system activation: muscle tension, restless sleep, and a sore throat. I understood these as natural responses to the challenges I’d faced. Rather than suppressing them, I created opportunities to release and process my emotions in ways that felt safe and manageable:

• Reaching out: I connected with my therapist to process grief and avoid emotional bottling.
• Social engagement: I scheduled activities like a paddle match to promote movement and connection.
• Intentional choices: I opted out of a village gathering, knowing it would stir deep emotions I wasn’t ready to face alone.

These decisions allowed me to oscillate between states in healthy ways, rather than getting stuck in prolonged stress or overwhelm.

Trauma and the Nervous System

Trauma isn’t the event itself—it’s how our nervous systems respond to it. It's not the bump on the head, it's the concussion. When we get stuck in a protective state (sympathetic or dorsal), it impacts our physical and emotional well-being. Chronic dysregulation can manifest as inflammation, anxiety, depression, digestive issues, and more. By becoming active operators of our nervous systems, we can use strategies—like mindful movement, breathing techniques, or connecting with loved ones—to promote regulation and resilience.

Closing Thoughts

My experience highlights the importance of understanding and tending to our nervous systems during life’s inevitable challenges. What’s happening in your nervous system as you navigate daily life? Are you responding in ways that support recovery, regulation, and readiness for what’s next?

If you notice signs of nervous system dysregulation—whether they’re short-term or chronic—learning to recognise and address them is key to maintaining health, well-being, and performance. If I can help you with this, please reach out for a chat.

If this resonated with you and you believe it could help someone better understand their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors—and take steps toward self-empowerment—please share it with them. Together, we can spread the message of growth and understanding.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Your support means so much, and by sharing, you're helping others on their journey of understanding and growth.

With gratitude,

Andrea Edmondson, NeuroSmart Learning