Navigating the challenge of parenthood and business ownership

I’ve been nurturing my corporate baby, Konnect Learning for the best part of 5 years now. I’ve struggled through the sleeplessness of a business in its infancy, barely leaving my desk as I fed and nourished it. Bit by bit, my baby is growing into something of which I am immensely proud, something I’m more attached to than I ever thought I would be. About eight months ago, something happened that threw two rather squawky spanners in the works. I gave birth to twins.

While being a mum has always been on the cards for me, I never expected to raise two babies at once. The last eight months have been a rollercoaster of juggling, sleeplessness, quick decision making, stress, joy and triumph. While reflecting on this, I thought I would also take the time to reflect on what I have learned as a business owner and parent. I want to applaud all the parents out there, who struggle every day to balance corporate life with the nappy life.

The anticipation of the balancing act is almost more challenging

The unadulterated joy of learning I was going to be a mother was overwhelming – and then the doctor detected the second heartbeat. Twins.

I’d wanted to have kids for almost my adult life, and at times was worried I’d dedicated so much time to building my career that I’d missed my chance.

After I got over the terrifying shock of not one but two, by myself, my excitement was palpable. I threw myself into baby classes, learning everything I could about simultaneously rearing two humans. I road tested prams, looked up reviews of baby monitors, found the best cot for continued sleep, read up on the best sleeping situation for twins, and kitted myself out with the best baby paraphernalia I could find. I was going to rock this.

That was until the fear crept in. Fear of being able to do this by myself, fear that I couldn’t be the best parent I could be, fear that I couldn’t make up for there being only me and not two parents but, as the reality of their birth loomed nearer, the fear of leaving my first baby in the hands of others. Surely no one could look after it the way I could? Would it survive? Would it grow? Would it suffer without me?  The reality of leaving it with someone who was not me was fast becoming a reality and I wasn’t ready.

I feared it was the worst decision I had ever made but the train had already left the station and I couldn’t take it back. As the due date edged ever closer, I caught myself playing out disaster scenarios over and over in my head. I had to trust my own judgement, the team I’d built, the managers that were in place, and the operations I’d developed. As Steve Jobs once said, “"it doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and tell them what to do, we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do." I had hired smart, resourceful, experienced people. I had to trust that they knew what to do.

Expect the unexpected

Like the ebb and flow of business, my children were equally unpredictable and were born two months early. I was not ready.

This was not the planned date. My GM wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready. It was one of the most eye-opening moments of both my professional and personal lives. I was dividing my time between neonatal care and handing over the business, providing skin to skin contact with my tiny babies and coaching my 2IC on the intricacies of people management. We had been doing this for months, but now I wasn’t there to back it up. It was the most stressful time of my life.

Learning to say no after years of saying yes

Being thrown into things so chaotically gave me a gift that I would never have anticipated. I learned to let go. When your time is broken down into only essential tasks, there is no micromanaging. I learned very quickly, to discern the essential for my babies and to my business.

I learned to say no!

I built my career on my unwillingness to let things go. I pushed when others didn’t. I put my hand up for challenges even if I didn’t know if I could pull it off. I said yes to every opportunity. I still believe that is the best way to learn, to grow and to get ahead.

But, my new life has taught me how to prioritise in a way I never knew I could. I no longer sweat the small stuff. The devil may be in the detail, but the detail is no longer mine to worry about.

Back each other

One of the most interesting learning curves has been in relation to other women and mothers.

I’ve always considered myself a proud empathic woman. But to be honest I didn’t really understand the pain of balancing a child with a career. The challenges that parents, and I’m sad to say, mostly mothers, face in the workplace are real and significant and we as business owners need to find ways to adapt and change. I am now more flexible with requests to leave early for daycare, with late arrivals, with carers day to relieve sick wives and time off to pick up kids, to attend sports days and to just be there. I now gladly grant paternity leave. I say yes if someone needs to bring their kid in for the day.

Those of you who worked for me before I had kids, for whom I was flexible but displeased with your absence. I am sorry. I understand now.

Looking to the future

Eight months in and I’m back at work part-time. I’m lucky I have the flexibility to choose my hours and dictate my return but the juggle is real. I hope to share my experience, tips and advice with you and perhaps shed some light on some of the challenges we all face.